“Yeah,” Xander admitted. “You make me feel a lot of things.”
Xander looked at me under lowered eyelashes, suddenly shy, and I couldn’t have stopped myself from reaching out even if I’d wanted to. I pulled him down for a kiss, trying to pour everything he mademefeel into it, trying to let him know how much all of this meant to me. How much he meant to me. How badly I wanted to be here.
“Good,” I said against his lips when we broke for air. “Because it’s your turn to be good in bed.”
Xander laughed. “Oh, while you just lie back like a pillow princess?”
“Yep,” I said, grinning at him. “It’s my first time. You should spoil me.”
Xander rolled his eyes and caught my lips again, nipping at the lower one as he shoved a couple of fingers back inside me, making me gasp into his mouth.
“I will,” he promised. “Easier if you roll over. Do that while I grab a condom.”
I shivered as he got up, partly from the loss of his body heat but also from the way he sounded when he took charge. I could’ve gotten very,veryused to that.
The mattress creaked under me as I did what I was told, a coil of anticipation tightening in my gut. Doing this with Xander was exciting. The trust and the way it felt and the fact that it was something I’d have with him that wasonlywith him, I could give him something that’d always be his.
“You look great like this, too,” Xander said, the mattress dipping as he climbed back onto the bed. “For the record. Hips.”
I didn’t understand what he wanted until he nudged me with a pillow, but then I let him slide it under me, my thighs falling apart naturally with the new angle.
Exposed as I was I should have felt vulnerable, and maybe I did, in a way, but it was a kind of vulnerability I wanted to give Xander. He’d taken all my vulnerable moments in his hands like they were a newborn kitten so far, impossibly gentle and a little in awe, and I knew I could give him this, too.
“Comfy?” Xander asked, running the pad of his thumb up the back of my thigh.
I shifted a little, letting my thighs part further, tilting my hips up and then biting my lip as my cock dragged along the pillowcase. My fingers tightened around the pillow I was gripping, tension and excitement and need all pounding in my veins.
“Comfy,” I said.
Xander chuckled, and he’d done that a hundred times, but spread out for him like this itdid thingsto me.
I squirmed under his touch as he ran his hands over me, gentle and unhurried. Xander touched me like it was enough just to have contact, like it was satisfying all by itself, and I couldn’t get enough of it.
But right now, I needed more.
Luckily, Xander seemed to realize that, the bedclothes rustling as he moved. I felt the mattress dip between my legs as he planted a knee there, then the heat of his body hovering over me, sinking into my skin and making me shiver with want.
The brush of Xander’s fingers against my butt made my breath hitch, the sound turning into a needy whimper as he pushed inside me again.
“You’re so good at this,” Xander murmured by my ear, running the tip of his nose along the shell, following the path back up with his tongue. “So ready for me.”
I nodded, letting him hear another needy whimper. He liked that, he’d told me so.
My reward came when Xander’s fingers pulled out and were replaced with something blunter and thicker and impossibly hot. I might’ve tensed up, under other circumstances, but feeling Xander’s cock pressed against me—knowing it wasXander—made me melt into the mattress, thighs parting even further of their own accord, stomach bottoming out.
“I want it,” I panted, voice already cracking.
Xander laughed breathlessly, pressing a kiss behind my ear.
“Since you’ve been so good,” he said.
Stars burst in front of my eyes as he pushed forward. My grip on the pillow turned to white-knuckled, the fabric creaking under my fingers, breath caught at the top of my lungs. I couldn’t move or think or focus on anything other than the way it felt to have Xander easing his way inside me, slow and careful.
“Breathe,” he reminded me, and I managed to release the breath I’d been holding, my eyes fluttering closed as he slipped in further, further, until I was completely full.
The room spun, or maybe it was just me, but Xander shushed and stroked my side and murmured encouraging noises in my ear as I adjusted.
A laugh escaped me as I forced my body to relax again.
