I wasn’t sure if it was true. Right now, I really didn’t want it. I wanted to be told my career was over, that I’d never work in Hollywood again.
Because then I’d have an excuse to stay. To clear out my apartment, pack my bags into the back of Ward’s truck, and let him drive me back here.
Home.
The home I’d forgotten I had.
The home that really felt like home now.
I was glad we weren’t doing this there, and I thought maybe that was why we were out here in the first place.
“Ryder, it’s okay,” Ward said softly. “I know… I know you’ve always had bigger dreams than me.”
“I…”
“Let me finish?” Ward asked, and the pleading look in his eyes meant I couldn’t imagine saying no. I nodded, biting my lip while I waited to hear what he had to say.
“I’ve known I couldn’t keep you since we were thirteen and you told me you were leaving Otter Bay as soon as you could. I think that’s why I never said anything about how I felt, maybe, or at least part of the reason.”
“Ward—”
“You promised to let me finish,” he said, cutting me off with a raised hand. “I had a whole speech prepared in my head about this but the point is, I just want one more day. One more day where we get to be together just like we have been. And then in the morning I’ll take you to the airport and I won’t even cry when you go. Would that be okay?”
One more day.
Right, of course. Because as much as Ward wouldn’t survive coming to LA with me, there was no place for me in his life, either. I’d always known that.
It was just like Ward not to resent me for leaving. Not to resent me for anything. To be so goddamnkind, all the time, as easy as breathing.
I didn’t deserve him anyway. I was lucky I’d gotten what I had already.
One more day was a bonus. I’d have to be an idiot not to take it. I’d take it, fold it up, and tuck it into the pocket of my heart, where I could keep it always.
And that’d have to be enough.
“One more day,” I agreed, reaching out for Ward again, coaxing his hand out of his pocket. “But it’s okay if you cry a little.”
“Good, because I know I will,” Ward said, letting me take his hand. “Like I did last time.”
“I don’t remember you crying. I remembermecrying, but not you.”
“Cried the whole way home.” Ward shrugged. “Didn’t want to upset you. You were starting a whole new life.”
I should’ve known.
“Do you ever think of anyone aside from other people?” I asked.
“Like who?” Ward responded, and it was so obvious he wasn’t joking that I wanted to fold him up in my arms and hang onto him forever.
The folding him up in my arms part, I could do. I stepped forward and wrapped myself around him, burying my face in his shoulder and squeezing him tight.
“You, Ward. I sometimes wish you were a little more selfish.” I sighed. “So you’re gonna have to be. What doyouwant to do today?”
Ward hugged me back in silence, which meant therewassomething he wanted, but he wasn’t sure if he could ask.
I was getting it out of him one way or another.
“I’m not moving until you tell me what it is,” I said.
