“Just realized you don’t do this in public either,” Ward murmured as he broke off. “How does it feel?”
Howdidit feel?
I should have been terrified. Kissing a boy late at night in Otter Bay was one thing, even if someone ultimately had seen us.
Kissing a boy in the early evening in LA was another entirely. Hundreds of people could have seen. Thousands, hundreds of thousands more might if there were photos again.
But despite all that, I was calmer than I had been in a long time.
Ward was right here. Nothing bad ever happened to me when Ward was around.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I said honestly. “I don’t think I could do this without you.”
“Course you could.” Ward shrugged. “You’re the strongest, bravest person I know. You could do anything,” he added. “But I’m glad I’m here, too.”
I laughed, letting myself fall forward against his chest and smiling into his shirt as his arms folded around me. I’d missed Ward’s hugs so much, and now that he was all grown up, they were even better, if that was possible.
“Did I ever tell you I’m proud of you?” Ward asked, still holding me close.
In front of all these people.
Because he cared more about me than being embarrassed.
“Why?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Because you’re incredible,” he said, as though he was pointing out that water was wet. “And because you’re... I dunno. Being brave about this. You’re always so brave.”
I looked around at the crowd--not just the line we were in the middle of, but the people walking past, too, the bustling streets of just-after-work LA all heading for drinks and dinner and dates and quiet nights at home—and then at shy, nervous Ward who never liked to be the focus of anyone’s attention if he could avoid it, and my heart flipped over.
He was out here doing this, this thing that should have been impossible for him, to help me.
I didn’t think there was a single other person in the world who cared that much about me. Not even anyone who came close.
“From where I’m standing,” I said, reluctantly pushing away from his warm, solid body to give him the space he must have been desperate for by now. “You’re pretty brave too.”
10
Ward
I was such a goddamn coward.
Here I was at a fancy Hollywood party half the people I knew would have killed to be invited to, and I was hiding behind a pot plant in a darkened corner, hoping no one would notice me.
I’d told Ryder I’d be fine if he went off to grab drinks alone because I hadn’t wanted it to look like he had a weird clingy boyfriend who followed him around like a puppy, but I regretted that now. Better to be a clingy puppy than crouched in the bushes like a pervert.
“You’re Ryder’s date, right?”
I looked up as a petite blond woman sat down beside me, holding a vape in one hand and a beer in the other.
Ryder had been gone ten seconds and I was already in trouble.
Everyone who hadn’t been living under a rock knew who she was. Allison Ellis, up-and-coming new face on one of those expensive HBO dramas where no one ever wore all their clothes at once.
It was also her birthday. Her party.
She was shorter than I’d imagined her.
And she’d gotten her start in one of the cheap made-for-TV romantic dramas Ryder had been in since the beginning.
