“Because this is all my fault?” Ryder said, gaze fixed on one of the cedars that ringed the clearing the cabin was built in. “Because I’ve had ten years to stop being a constant screwup but I haven’t learned anything? Because you’ve put up with enough of my bullshit for a thousand lifetimes and I can’tpossiblyask you for more?”
One person whose ass Imighthave kicked was Ryder’s dad’s. Every word of what Ryder was saying sounded just like him, and I hated it. He’d ignored everything Ryder did right and come down on him for even the tiniest mistake his whole life.
The day he’d left Otter Bay for good, I’d watched him go just to make sure he was gone. He was one person I’d never forgive. Not for what he’d put Ryder through, and not for driving Ryder out of town and out of my life.
“I actually kinda like your bullshit,” I said, shaking off the specter of his dad. “Always makes my life interesting.”
Ryder gave me a look that said loud and clear that I wasn’t funny, but his lips twitching gave him away.
“I think I wanna do it,” I said, which was as much a surprise to me as it apparently was to Ryder, whose eyes widened like I’d just sprouted wings.
“I mean, I know you probably don’t want to and I hate the idea of you being pushed into this, but… it… it’s your whole life, y’know? If I can help, I wanna help.”
“You can’t help helping,” Ryder said. “You’re the most helpful person who’s ever existed. Helping is your whole deal. But you don’t want this. Trust me. You’ll hate it.”
“Not if it’s for you,” I said, and I meant that, too.
“Ward, it’s too much. And besides, it’slying. You’re the worst liar on the planet.”
It doesn’t have to be lying, I didn’t say.
“It’s acting,” I said instead.
I was also the worst actor on the planet, but Ryder wouldn’t say that about me.
“And any lack of talent I have, you can make up for. You’re the best actor on the planet,” I said.
Ryder snorted, scuffing his shoe against the edge of the porch step. “I’m really not.”
“Best actor I know.” I shrugged. “They don’t give the part of Romeo in the senior play to justanyone.”
That finally made Ryder look at me. “You remember that?”
“Do I remember listening to you run lines for months at every opportunity you got? Yeah, I kinda remember. And the tights. Definitely remember the tights.” I grinned.
“Oh god, the tights,” Ryder groaned.
“What? You had the legs for it,” I teased. I remembered Ryder in his Romeo costume like it was yesterday.
There’d maybe been a few hints that I wasn’t entirely straight before I’d figured it out for myself. That was one of them.
“No,nowI have the legs for it. Back then I had skinny chicken legs and oh god you have photos, don’t you?”
My grin widened. “Maybe,” I said. “I won’t dig them out to show you if you let me help.”
If they still existed, I knew exactly where Dad would’ve kept them. Within an hour, I could have a dozen faded pictures of Ryder’s skinny teenage legs in all their coltish glory in my hands.
“That’s extortion.”
“I actually think it’s blackmail,” I said. “C’mon, Ryder. What Seth said was true, right? Your agent’s gonna drop you if you don’t do this, isn’t she?”
Ryder huffed. I hated that there was still so much distance between us, so I took a cautious half-step toward him the way I would’ve approached a skittish stray cat.
“Yeah,” Ryder said. “But there are other agents.”
“It was hard enough to find the first one,” I pointed out. What I didn’t add was that right now, Ryder’s name was on everyone’s lips for all the wrong reasons. Not in anall publicity is good publicityway, either.
Now wasn’t a great time for him to look for new representation. As much as he was the best actor in the whole world to me, he hadn’t gotten his big break yet.
