My mouth was hanging open as I turned to him, and I couldn’t quite get my jaw to cooperate. Seth was right?
Not that Seth wasn’t smart and capable and resourceful, but I didn’t think he was right about this one.
“I can lie around moping for weeks or I can… accept it, and take advantage of the one good thing to come out of this. I don’t have to hide anymore. Youknowhow long I’ve been hiding.”
The look in Ryder’s eyes was enough to change my mind. I’d been looking forward to the quiet night in I’d been planning, but if he needed this, I wanted to be there for him.
And Ididknow how long he’d been hiding. I remembered the day he’d told me he thought he liked boys, how scared he’d been.
But I’d known before that, too, or suspected it at least, and it’d broken my heart watching him hide it even from me. If the one good thing to come from this was that he didn’t have to hide anymore, I got why he wanted to enjoy that.
“I definitely have to shower before we do that,” I said.
“You’re coming?” Ryder asked.
“Unless I’m not invited?” I asked, looking between Seth and Ryder. Maybe they didn’t want to hang out with me. That was fine, I could… eat my own body weight in pizza and wait for Ryder to get back.
No different from any other Friday night, except that I would actually have been expecting company for once.
“You’re obviously invited,” Ryder said. “I just didn’t think—never mind. Go shower.”
“Did you say something about pizza?” Seth asked with a gleam in his eye.
“Uh, yeah. Should turn up soon. There’s plenty for you as well.”
Seth grinned at me. “Have I mentioned lately that you’re really hot? Because you are.”
That made me blush all the way down to my collarbones, but I couldn’t help smiling, too. Seth loved to tease me—and everyone else—and I was honored. It was his way of expressing affection.
Ryder smiled at me too, and I wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but I liked that even more.
Maybe a night out wasn’t such a bad idea, if it’d make him smile again—and hadn’t I just had a thought about not treating him like glass? After seeing him this morning, drained and on the verge of breaking, the chance to see him smile sounded like a great time.
Even if it meant going out to a bar on a Friday night.
3
Ryder
I laughedas we fell out the bar together to the sound of George Michael singing about waiting for true love or something to usher the last of the crowd out, leaning on Ward to steady myself. Hopefully, a long, deep breath of the cool night air would be enough to sober me up a little.
Judging by the way I ended up staring at the sky, mouth hanging open in awe at all the stars, it hadn’t worked. Even with the lights of the town, there were millions of them. And they weren’t even blurry, so I wasn’tthatdrunk. Not even drunk. Pleasantly buzzed.
That had been more than two shots of tequila. I was a lightweight, but I wasn’t that much of a lightweight. All the same, just for now, things didn’t seem so bad.
“Wow,” I murmured as the comforting warmth of Ward’s body moved behind me.
“Guess you don’t see anything like this in LA,” Ward said.
“I’d forgotten,” I admitted. “I’d forgotten what it was like out here.”
“Itisbeautiful,” he said. “Even if it was always too small for you.”
It didn’t feel too small right now. It mademefeel small, standing out here in the dark, looking up at stars like glitter spilled over black velvet.
Leaning back against the best friend I’d ever had, who was letting me rest my head against him with all the patience in the world.
“I’ve never done this before,” I said, tilting my head back to grin at Ward as the few lights around us swirled like stage lights on opening night. “Been to a gay bar, I mean.”
