I was still recovering from the thought that I would have happily dumped my entire life right now just to see Iggy smile again.
That was love, wasn’t it?
“Sounds nice,” Reggie said. “Invite me to the wedding."
“Wedding?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yours and Iggy’s,” he clarified. “Never been to a gay wedding before, it’ll be an experience.”
I snorted, remembering Seth’s wedding. “The one I went to while I was there sure as hell was.”
Reggie would’ve gotten a kick out of the goat story. I’d have to tell it to him sometime.
“Good, I love a crazy shindig.” Reggie drained his beer, still looking up at the invisible stars.
Mine and Iggy’s wedding.
We weren’t having it on a farm, under any circumstances, but I wanted it to be somewhere nice. Maybe even at the cabin.
At home.
At home.
Fuck.
“I’m graciously accepting your resignation,” Reggie said as though he’d read my goddamn mind.
“I can’t leave you in the lurch,” I said. I owed Reggie. He’d been good to me.
“Harv, I built this business on your back,” Reggie said. “You’re my best guy. I love you to death and I’m lucky I met you. But if you’re not quitting, you’re fired. Not because you’re not great at this, but because you fucking deservebetter. And if I’ve got anything to do with it, you’re not gonna waste your shot.”
“Are you quotingHamiltonat me?” I asked, because processing any other part of what Reggie had just said was too hard right now, with my heart pounding in my skull and my palms sweating like I was a sixteen year old chickening out of asking my crush if we could go to prom together.
I never had asked Iggy. I would’ve made the trip out to Otter Bay by myself to go with him, if he’d said yes.
But I’d never asked. And I still regrettedthat.
How much more would I regret this?
“I’m tryna talk in terms you’ll understand.” Reggie shrugged.
“Because all gay men love musicals?”
“Because you made me listen to it, let’s not forget why I know to quote it at you,” Reggie said.
He had a point, I had made him listen to it. But he’d liked it when he listened to it.
“Changing the subject won’t help, y’know,” Reggie said. “You’re fired, Harv. I’m taking the decision out of your hands. Book a flight back to Portland before I do it for you.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching it turn to fog in front of my face as though I’d taken up smoking, too.
I knew that if I told Reggie I wasn’t leaving, that I wanted to stay, that going back to Iggy wouldn’t work for me, that I loved my job and wanted to keep it, it’d be like this conversation never happened. I wasn’treallyfired.
But he was giving me a way out. A way to have what I wanted. What I wanted more than anything.
“Call him,” Reggie said. “Tell him you’re coming home.”
“No,” I said, a plan already forming in my mind.
