“Is that the best prank you can think up?” I teased, squeezing his hand again, wanting him to know that it was okay. Whatever he was trying to tell me, it wasokay.
Kieran snorted, looking down at where our hands were joined, both of them resting on his thigh.
“I’m sorry,” he said, tracing the length of my index finger with his thumb.
“I told you, I don’t want you to be sorry.”
“For dumping all this on you,” Kieran added, glancing up at me through long, dark lashes, pink tongue darting out to wet full lips.
I knew he was genuinely upset right now, but he was stunning. Who’d object to a man like this kissing them?
Or baring his soul to them, for that matter.
“I don’t want you to be sorry about that, either,” I said. “You’re still my best friend. If you can’t talk tome…”
“You’re the only person I can talk to,” Kieran said. “About this.”
“So, without sounding incredibly dense,” I began, wondering how to phrase what I needed to ask. “Whatisthis?”
Kieran shrugged, which I thought was maybe the clearest answer he had right now.
Another handful of heartbeats passed, the two of us sitting close together, Kieran’s hand still twined with mine.
My lips were still tingling from the kiss, too, the rasp of his afternoon stubble still tickling my chin.
“I wanted to kiss you yesterday,” Kieran said softly. “Right before I got up like my ass was on fire.”
My stomach flipped over. Partly because I was imagining what that would’ve been like, partly because I could hear how lost Kieran was, how confused.
I wanted to take that all away, make that easy for him.
“I really don’t mind you kissing me,” I said, which I hoped sounded supportive rather than like a confession that I’d had a crush on him for years and it’d never really stopped.
Kieran smiled wryly, shifting his weight on the sofa. “Can we, uh. Do you think we could do this outside?”
I blinked at him.
“Can’t think inside,” he said. “Besides, wanted to show you something. Like a five-minute walk.”
“I’ll walk five minutes for you,” I said. “Hell, I’d walkten.”
Kieran laughed, his hand slipping out of mine as he stood, and I missed him instantly.
What Iwantedto do was wrap my arms around him and promise him everything was going to be okay, that I understood where he was coming from, and that if he wanted to make out a little more, I was free for the evening.
But what heneededwas to get outside and clear his head. Even if that meant putting a little distance between us, that was okay.
Kieran had been there for me enough times in my life. It was my turn to be there for him, however this conversation was about to go.
8
Kieran
I wasn’tsure whether I wanted to throw up, pass out, or cry.
I couldn’tbelievewhat I’d just done. My heart was still pounding against my rib cage like it was trying to escape, and I didn’t blame it at all. Running the hell away was my best idea right now, too.
But Felix was right beside me, brushing against me every now and then as I guided him up the narrow trail.
