Dad chuckled, shoving a napkin toward me so I could wipe my face and at least pretend to be a civilized adult.
“What? We already know he likes older men,” Dad teased.
“I’m not anolder man,” I objected. “I’ve got two years on him.”
Dad chuckled. “I know. I know Aiden, I like him, and I think he’d be good for you.” Dad paused, licking his lips. “I know you’re not really dating Aiden, but I kinda wish you would,” he added. “I’ve made mistakes, I won’t pretend I haven’t. I should’ve told you your feelings were okay the first time I got a hint you had them. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“Consider yourself forgiven,” I said, and it was easy, and I meant it. I wasn’t angry at him. Not now. Maybe I would be later, maybe I’d feel some sense of loss at not knowing sooner that…
Well, I didn’t really knowwhatI knew yet. I knew it felt good to kiss Aiden and I knew I was still recovering from coming my brains out like I was getting my first-ever blowjob, but I didn’t know what thatmeant.
Was Aiden a special case?
If he was, why had I even brought the idea up to Kieran all those years ago?
But if hewasn’t, then how much time had I wasted when I could’ve been figuring that out instead of forcing myself not to think about it? And would knowing my dad felt the same way have made a difference to me?
I swallowed down another mouthful of water.
Yeah. Yeah, it probablywouldhave made a difference. Hearing someone I trusted tell me it was okay—instead of just pretending he hadn’t seen what he’d seen—that would have changed things.
But on the other hand, did I want things to be different?
Like Trent had said, it was okay that it’d taken him and my dad so long to find each other, because it was meant to be that way.
I was only twenty-seven. There was plenty of time left ahead of me.
“Your forgiveness is appreciated as the precious gift it is,” Dad said. “But it doesn’t explain Aiden.”
I’d been half-hoping he’d forget about that. People underestimated my dad, but he had the tenacity of a terrier and the stubbornness of a mule and the warm, charming smile to get away with it.
I’d inherited the smile, I was pretty sure. People liked the way I smiled.
“I asked Kieran first,” I admitted. “Not, umm. Not for, like, a second chance or anything, but just so Mom would stop pestering me about Mandi. I figured letting her think I was gay would pretty much do it. But I thought she’d be madquietly.”
“Because you didn’t know about me and how touchy she’d really be about it,” Dad said. “Right. Still not understanding Aiden.”
“Kieran said he’d go with me because he had a crush on me in high school.” I reached out for the salt shaker in the middle of the table, rolling it between my palms. “I figured he was full of shit, but I asked anyway, and Aiden agreed to come with me.”
“Because hedidhave a crush on you in high school,” Dad said.
I looked up at him. “Am I the last person to know about this?”
Dad shrugged. “I’m gonna say yes. You always were kind of oblivious.”
Yeah. I was always surprised when someone kissed me.
Except earlier today, when I’d been surprised I kissed someone.
And just before I left, when I’d asked Aiden if I could kiss him.
That meant something.Wantingto kiss Aiden meant something, even if I wasn’t sure what yet.
“I kissed him earlier,” I confessed softly.
“And?” Dad asked.
Yeah,and?
