“I don’t know,” Mike admitted softly. “We are… there’s definitely athinggoing on there, and I’m not sure what it is or what I want it to be.”
The thing was, he might have broken up with Rachel years ago, but he was used to being able to tell her things. And judging by the look on her face, he still could.
She just radiated understanding at him despite all the stuff between them, which was such a relief Mike could barely absorb that hefinallyhad someone to talk to about this.
“There was always a thing between the two of you,” Rachel said, andthatwas like being punched in the chest. For a moment, Mike could barely force himself to breathe.
Always?
He swallowed. He’d had the same thought, but he hadn’t been sure until now whether it was just the excitement of everything talking or whether he reallywasremembering a few too-long glances at Ezra, a few moments that were so intimate they’d made his heart hurt, or the way it’d felt like he’d been torn in two when he left.
Even though he was leaving with a woman he’d thought he wanted to marry one day.
The day Rachel had told him it wasn’t working had mostly been a relief, and Mike had figured out by then that he’d well and truly fallen out of love with her, but now he wondered…
Well, hewondered. About Ezra.
About things he maybe hadn’t been willing or able to acknowledge back then.
While Mike was still processing, Rachel reached out in front of him and picked up a pregnancy test, holding the box in her hands. Mike’s eyes widened.
“Are you…?” he asked, not sure how to phrase the question. She obviously didn’tknowwhether or not she was pregnant if she needed a test.
Maybe what he really wanted to know was whether or not Rachel was happy.
Because maybe if Rachel could be happy…
“I think so,” she responded quietly. “Sure would explain a lot.”
“Do you want that?” Mike asked, more than content to focus on Rachel’s problems instead of his own.
She’d always wanted them to stay friends. Maybe Mike was ready for that.
Rachel shrugged. “I dunno. I think I’ll know better once I’m sure one way or the other, y’know? Like I’ll figure out the moment I pee on this what Iwantthe result to be.”
Mike nodded. He got exactly what Rachel meant, and he wished he could figure out what the hellhewanted by peeing on a stick.
Well, not necessarily peeing on a stick, but something equally concrete. He wished he could… flip a coin, or something.
“If you need anything,” Mike said. “I’m… I’m only ever a phone call away.”
Before Mike realized what was happening, Rachel’s arms came up and wrapped around him.
“I’m sorry for taking you away from Ezra,” she said softly.
“You didn’t take me away,” Mike responded, confused. Maybe shewaspregnant and this was hormonal. Mike wasn’t clear exactly on how pregnancy hormones worked, but he knew they were a thing. “I went with you. I knew you didn’t want to be here anymore.”
“I was afraid you’d pick him over me.” Rachel pulled back a little way, looking up at him. “Because you loved him.”
Mike stared for a few seconds. He wanted to say no, that wasn’t true, or… something. Anything.
But itwastrue.
And if he’d been asked a couple of weeks ago he would have said that he just loved Ezra as a friend, like he loved all his friends. But now?
Things had changed.
Mike wasn’t sure he loved Ezra in the happily-ever-after way justyet, but he was sure, all of a sudden, that he could. That if he could keep Ezra, if he could stick around, he would have been happy, or at least that there was a possibility of happiness.
