10
Once Mike had been gone for fifteen full minutes, Ezra figured he had every reason to go after him. He’d wanted to go after him right away, follow him out, but he’d hesitated.
Maybe Mike really had just… urgently needed to pee, but he’d gone so pale beforehand. Like something had happened.
If he was sick or upset or… something, Ezra wanted to help. He’d just gotten his best friend back again. The last thing he wanted was for Mike to feel like he didn’t care.
A quick search of the house turned up Oscar and Ryan making out in the living room, like they hadn’t just gottenmarriedand didn’t have an actual bedroom to go to, but no trace of Mike. He wasn’t in his car, either, which Ezra thought maybe he’d go to if he was upset.
Short of any other ideas, Ezra circled the shed the reception was still going strong in and finally found Mike on the far side of it, looking up at the stars and playing with the pine cone he’d taken with him.
“Hey,” Ezra said cautiously. “Tell me to go away if you wanna be alone, I was just worried about you.”
“Sorry.” Mike looked down at the ground, scuffing his feet into it. He’d dressed up for the occasion, in a beautiful navy blue woolen suit that fitted him like he’d gotten it tailored, a white shirt, and a silver tie with what Ezra had realized later was a tiny snowflake pattern on it, to go with the Christmas theme.
Mike had grown up a lot in the past four years. He’d gone from t-shirts and baggy jeans to understated elegance. Fitted clothes, soft sweaters… all the hallmarks of a man who’d finally accepted that he was a grownup now.
It was hot, and Ezra wasn’t really up to pretending it wasn’t. Not that he planned on saying so to Mike. Definitely not right now, anyway.
He seemed upset. Maybe notupset, but… troubled, at least. Like he could use a friend right now.
“I just… needed some air,” he said after another moment, before Ezra felt the need to fill the silence again.
Cautiously, Ezra took a couple of steps toward Mike, closing the distance between them. It was a careful balance between being close enough to be comforting, but not so close that he felt crowded.
The moment Mike turned to look at him, he stopped. The look on Mike’s face would have been enough to stop him even if he hadn’t already intended to.
“I… this is my fault, isn’t it?” Ezra asked. “I really was only teasing about the mistletoe. I wanted you to know it was fine, that I don’t mind. I’ll stop and we can just… hang out. Or not.”
The pit of his stomach suddenly felt uncomfortably tight. What if he lost Mike over something as simple as teasing him over this?
Right after he’d found him again.
Thatdidsound like the kind of stupid thing Ezra would end up doing to himself, to be fair. That was why he’d lost Mike the first time, wasn’t it? Because he couldn’t just say he washappyfor him and Rachel.
And okay, he’d beenrightabout that, but it didn’t mean he had an excuse to be an asshole about it. Maybe if he’d just… said something, Mike wouldn’t have abandoned him.
Abandoned?
Ezra turned that word around in his head. Itwashow he’d felt, but it didn’t quite seem fair to put all the blame on Mike. They could both have reached out. Ezra had just been too busy wallowing in losing him todoit.
“It’s okay,” Mike mumbled, looking down at the ground again. “There’s just… a lot happening in my head right now.”
“About Rachel?” Ezra asked. “Or…?”
Mike raised his head and held Ezra’s gaze for long moments, wetting his lips as he considered him. He’d never really thought Mike was the kind of person who could look into another man’s soul, but right now, it definitely felt as though he wastryingto.
“Or,” Mike said, sighing heavily.
“Well… whatever it is, you can tell me about it. Even if itisme,” Ezra said, taking another step toward Mike, desperate to reach out and comfort him. He looked so miserable that Ezra just wanted to wrap him in a hug and tell him that it was all okay, that they could figure it out together, that no problem was too big to solve.
Before Ezra could work out what was happening, Mike closed the gap between them in one long stride, moving to within a handful of inches. The contrast between the cool night air and the heat of Mike’s body made Ezra shiver, the short hairs on the back of his neck standing on end.
Mike wasveryclose.
And Ezra was used to that, but he wasn’t used to it being so sudden.
“It’s you,” Mike murmured.
