What could he even say?
“She’s a sweetheart,” he responded, instead of being brave enough to say what hereallywanted to.
Which was that he’d had fun on the weekend, and he’d learned a lot about himself, and maybe… maybe he wanted more of that.
More of Oscar, specifically. If Oscar was even interested.
That was the thing making him hesitate. What if Oscar saidno? What if hewasn'tinterested, and Ryan was about to get rejected all over again. How was he supposed to deal with that?
On the other hand, if he didn't say anything, didn't take the chance, then the answer was automatically no. He’d never get to find out what might have happened. And he’d have to wonder about it forever.
Oscar had told him that trust and bravery were rewarded.
Maybe, for once in his life, he just needed to be a little brave.
“Listen…” Ryan began, his stomach tightening with fear that this was all about to go wrong. “I… stop me if I’m making an idiot of myself, but… I had a lot of fun over the weekend, and I was thinking—”
The touch of Oscar’s hand against his cheek stopped Ryan dead in his tracks. He realized then that he hadn’t been looking up at Oscar, had been too afraid to make eye contact and had been talking to the top button of his short-sleeved cotton shirt.
Seeing Oscar’s face told him he shouldn’t have been worried at all. The smile spreading over it, the way his eyes had lit up… this wasn’t a rejection. Not atall.
Ryan’s heart skipped, his breath hitching as Oscar leaned in, two heartbeats of anticipation an eternity in Ryan’s mind. The breath he’d been holding escaped him in a rush the moment Oscar’s lips touched his, warm and familiar. A pang of arousal made Ryan whine into Oscar’s mouth, need welling up in the pit of his stomach.
Damn.
He’d missed this, even though it’d been less than a day. He’d missed knowing he couldhaveit.
“What were you thinking?” Oscar murmured against Ryan’s lips, their foreheads pressed together, breath mingling.
He hadn't had anything like this for so long. Oscar’s easy way of just handing out affection was almost too much, though Ryan wasn't sure he’d ever really get enough of it.
“Uh,” Ryan began, needing a moment to gather his thoughts. “I was, uh… thinking that, umm…”
Shit, whathadhe been thinking?
“I could stay tonight,” Oscar said, saving Ryan from having to come up with something right away. “If you wanted, that is.”
Ryan nodded. Yeah, that was what he wanted. He just… wanted Oscar around.
Oscar was the first person who’d made him feel like he mattered. Like he was actually fun to be around, like he wasn’t just… there, and available, and a sensible choice.
Oscar made him feelexciting.
“I’d like that,” Ryan said. It was what he wanted, wasn’t it?
At least, part of what he wanted. The part he could articulate right now. The part he’d already figured out.
The rest… well, he had time. What he needed right now was for Oscar to give him more of it.
“Then I’ll stay,” Oscar said, reaching out to take Ryan’s hand. “I’m proud of you,” he added.
Ryan raised an eyebrow.
“For asking for what you want,” Oscar explained. “You had trouble with that on Sunday. Now you’re doing it. So. I’m proud of you for that.”
A lump formed in Ryan’s throat at the thought of Oscar beingproudof him. He swallowed past it, unsure what else to say, anticipation over tonight already welling up in his chest.
“Thank you,” he settled on. He was grateful. More thananything, he was grateful to Oscar for everything he’d done so far, and for the knowledge that he wasn’t just going to dump Ryan the moment they were back here.
