Not that it changed anything, but…
For once in his life, he felt as though his heart was in the careof someone who’d appreciate it. Even if Max never felt the same way.
Maybe Max wasn’t theonlyone making progress with hisfeelings.
ChapterTwenty-Two
As soon as Max climbed out of Connor’s car, he understood whyConnor had chosen this specific spot to take him to.
He approached the edge of the lookout point in awe, the town ofHope Springs sprawling into the distance below.
“I guess you already knew about this place,” Connor said, followinghim with the picnic basket he’d packed for them, complete with actualred-and-white checked picnic rug.
Max had teased him about it on the way to the car, but he likedit. Helikedthat Connor cared about the way things looked, that he hada sense of style.
“I’ve never seen it before,” Max said. “I guess I’ve never comeinto or left town this way. Not that I remember, anyway.”
“Oh,” Connor said, moving to stand next to him and look out.“Well… good, I guess. I get to impress you a little after all.”
“You impress me literally every time I talk to you,” Max saidsincerely. “But this is definitely impressive.”
“I only saw it in passing when I was heading into town for thefirst time,” Connor said, laying out the picnic rug close enough to the edgethat they’d still be able to see the view once they were sitting down, but alsoright under a big, old Cedar tree with a wide trunk.
It wasn’t the sunniest day of the year, but it was comfortableenough to be outside in.
“When I saw it,” Connor continued, opening up the picnic basketand taking containers out one by one. “I couldn’t help thinking how much Iwanted to take someone on a date up here.”
“I thought this wasn’t a date?” Max said, raising an eyebrow.
He’d actually thought itwasa date, but he hadn’t forgottenthat Connor had denied that yesterday.
“I lied,” Connor said. “It’s totally a date. But it doesn’t haveto be serious or anything. A casual date. I just… didn’t want you to beuncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” Max said, heading over to sit down nextto Connor.
He didn’t need this to be a serious date. He liked Connor, but heknew he was sending out mixed signals, and he knew Connor probably wasn’t usedto waiting around for guys who weren’t ready to admit that they were evenattracted to men.
Max had no idea why it’d taken him so long to even be comfortablethinking that. He’d grown up in a place where it was definitely okay to begay--encouraged, even.
It was different when it washim, though. Hope Springsmight’ve been a haven, but the whole world wasn’t.
Besides, he’d never had the chance to find out. He’d lost hisexperimental years to working every hour he could get at the bowling alley andevery odd job he could find, until he got the job at the bookstore. And he wasstillworking two jobs and a few other odd ones.
Connor had been the first person to offer him a break. Not just abreak, but a light at the end of the tunnel.
Max shouldn’t really have been surprised that he had all kinds ofcomplicated feelings for him.
“I think I’m bi,” Max said in a rush, right as the thought hithim. He’d wanted to say it for days, but he hadn’t been sure who to say itto.
Connor deserved to hear it first. He’d been so patient with Max’sbullshit.
And he was leaving soon, so he was safe to come out to. If Maxdecided he wanted to keep it a secret later, he’d only told one person, andthat person wouldn’t be around anymore.
As much as Max was starting to hate the thought of Connor notbeing around.
Connor looked up from where he was arranging crackers on a woodencutting board, his eyes wide.
“That came outta nowhere, huh?” Max said, scratching the back ofhis neck. Nerves were creeping up on him now, the urge to explain himselfwarring with the fact that he didn’t knowhow. “I just… I’ve beenthinking, a lot, about you, and about… other stuff, and… I thought you shouldknow that I’m at least getting somewhere.”
