Chapter Seventeen
“You’ve each been given a map to a beautiful, secluded location to watch the sunset together,” Robert explained to the group. “But you’ll have to find your way there first by working as a team.”
Sam bristled at being told what to do by a man who was trying to blackmail Ben, but listened attentively to the instructions anyway. Ben had insisted that they continue to behave as normal, as though he was hiding the threat from Sam and fully intending to pay up.
For Ben’s sake, Sam was going along with it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
By the time the instructions were finished, Ben was already playing with his phone.
Sam’s heart sank. He’d known it wouldn’t last forever, but it looked like the new-relationship honeymoon was already over.
“I got us a map,” Ben turned the phone around before Sam had a chance to say anything. “With directions I can actually follow. That’s the most useful contribution I can make to this.”
Oh. He was trying to help.
That was sweet, in an extremely Ben-like way.
“We’ve gotta get you out of the city sometime,” Sam said, grabbing the backpack they’d been given which, in theory, contained a picnic and a blanket to eat it on. It was heavier than he expected.
Before he could say so, Ben took it from him and shrugged it over his shoulders, handing the phone over.
Sam blinked. He was handing his phone over? So he couldn’t work while they walked? Even though he’d just stumbled on a big, important story?
After a moment, Sam reached out to take it, still confused.
“Work can wait,” Ben said, obviously understanding the look on Sam’s face for what it was. “We’ll probably never get the chance to have a break like this again, we should enjoy it.”
Sam didn’t want that to be true, but he knew it might be.
That was the thing about Ben. He worked all the time, even when he didn’t need to be working, even when there wasn’t going to be any kind of reward for it.
Part of Sam had always wanted to save him from that, but if they were really going to try this now, he’d have to accept that it wasn’t up to him. Ben didn’t need saving. He needed support.
“Are you sure? Because as long as I get to eat, I don’t really care,” Sam lied. He liked the idea of a quiet walk in the woods with Ben, no distractions, no outside world. That was how they’d gotten as far as they had this weekend.
Would they be able to keep this up when they went back to the real world? Sam was already starting to dread that maybe they wouldn’t, maybe Ben would decide he wasn’t ready to be out, maybe this was his only chance to get what he’d always wanted, and maybe he should be savoring every second.
“I’m sure,” Ben said. “I can email Eliot when you’re asleep later and get him to do some of the heavy lifting.”
Sam smiled, unable to help himself. Ben had thought this through, after all.
Just as Sam was getting over the high of knowing that Ben really was trying, that he was clearly invested in this, a miracle occurred. Ben reached out and took his hand, clasping their fingers together loosely, but firmly enough that Sam knew he was wanted.
Sam’s heart pounded in his chest, the feel of Ben’s rough fingers under his own surreal for a few moments. He could get used to this. This felt amazing.
“This is what you want, right?” Ben asked softly after a moment, squeezing Sam’s fingers.
“Not if it makes you uncomfortable,” Sam said automatically. He did want this. He wanted to be with Ben, but he also wanted Ben to be comfortable being seen with him.
“I’ll get used to it,” Ben responded, his voice still low. “This is good practice.”
“You don’t need to get used to it for me.”
As much as he would have liked to think otherwise, Sam would have accepted being Ben’s secret. He wasn’t strong enough to give Ben up over having to hide away and pretend they were only friends.
“Yeah, I do,” Ben said. “You’ve put up with so much crap from me over the years, and it’s time I started paying you back. This is a start.”
Sam ran his thumb over Ben’s knuckles, not quite willing to give his hand up now that he had hold of it. “You don’t owe me anything,” he murmured. “I just want you around.”
