“You’d been drinking.” Charlie tapped on the coffee pot, willing it to hurry up.
“That’s not an excuse. And I wasn’t drunk,” Scott said.
Charlie looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. “I would prefer to think it was a drunken mistake, unless you’re about to ask me on a date.”
Scott’s half-open mouth closed with a click.
Guilt instantly hit Charlie in the stomach. Maybe that was cruel.
“That wasn’t fair,” Charlie said. “I’m sorry I snapped. If you’re confused, you have every right to be confused. But I need you to be honest with me, because right now? I’m ready to forgive you for anything. But I need to know what I’m forgiving you for. And I need to trust you to be careful with my very delicate heart.”
“I’m confused,” Scott murmured, playing with Chewie’s ear. “In general, but especially when it comes to you.”
“Okay,” Charlie pronounced carefully, fighting to keep his voice even.
He remembered having a conversation like this with Owen.
It had seemed a lot simpler then. He hadn’t had a horse in the race. All he’d wanted was for Owen to be happy.
“The last thing I want is to hurt you,” Scott said.
Charlie believed that. He didn’t think Scott had ever wanted to hurt anyone in his entire life.
“I know, and I don’t wanna hurt you either.”
The coffee pot was finally full enough for two cups, so Charlie picked it up to pour. It saved him thinking about everything else that was going on right now.
“Well, at least we’re on the same page there.” Scott sighed, sitting back in his chair. Chewie whined softly, snuggling close to him.
Chewie clearly understood what was going on. Not the details, but the general mood both Charlie and Scott were in.
Charlie’s stomach felt tight as he walked over to hand Scott his cup of coffee, his fingers tingling as Scott’s brushed against them, accepting the cup. He could have put it down in front of him instead.
Why hadn’t he done that? Why did he insist on torturing himself?
“So… where are we, then?” Charlie asked, playing with his coffee cup.
“I dunno.” Scott took a deep breath, sighing heavily. “I just… I dunno. I want us to be okay, at least.”
“We are okay,” Charlie said. He didn’t feel it, but he was determined for it to be the truth. He needed to be okay. For his own sake and for Scott’s, he couldn’t afford to spend any more time being upset about this.
Scott sipped his coffee.
“I should have asked if you wanted milk or sugar in that.” Charlie often forgot that some people drank coffee because they enjoyed it, not just as a convenient way to add caffeine to their bloodstream. He only had one cup, black and without sugar, in the morning. That was his rule.
He’d been willing to break that for Scott. He would have been willing to do a lot of things for Scott.
“No, black’s fine and I’m sweet enough already.” Scott smiled a small, sheepish smile. “I didn’t ask you with yours, either.”
“I thought the coffee was an excuse to keep me around,” Charlie said.
“It was,” Scott admitted. “I mean… I just didn’t want you to leave. You’re fun. I like hanging out with you.”
That was why Scott was confused. He probably just wanted a friend.
“I like hanging out with you, too.” Charlie shifted in his chair. “Hey, how did you know where I live? You didn’t actually walk me home last night.”
“I went to the grocery store and begged Owen to tell me.” Scott shrugged. “He wasn’t around last night to see what I did, so…”
