“I’m awake,” he said, though he wasn’t sure that was strictly true.
“There’s a very handsome man with a puppy at the door for you. I wasn’t sure if he was the reason you were crying last night. Do I tell him to go away?”
Charlie sighed. His mom knew everything about his life. At least she was supportive.
He didn’t want to talk to Scott, but he also didn’t want tonottalk to Scott.
“Let him in. I’ll be down in a second.”
“Okay. I’m going to brunch,” she said, her tone knowing. “But if he makes you cry again, you tell me and I’ll deal with him.”
Charlie laughed, surprising himself. He knew he could count on his mom to take care of him. Even if it was way past time for him to move out.
“Thanks, mom,” he called through the door, hunting for underwear, jeans, and a t-shirt that would make him look like his heart wasn’t breaking.
He’d accepted that he couldn’t have Scott. Or at least, he’d been working on accepting it. Then Scott had to go and kiss him.
The first time, he would have taken the blame. Even though he was sure Scott moved in first, he could see that maybe it hadn’t been for a kiss.
This time, Scott haddefinitelymade the first move. The only move, really. Charlie had been too surprised to do much other than kiss back, just a little, just because he was weak and Scott was beautiful and funny and kind, no matter how off-limits he was.
His mom was gone by the time Charlie made his way downstairs, and Scott was sitting at the kitchen table with Chewie in his lap.
Working up the courage to come down and see Scott had taken all of Charlie’s focus, and now he wasn’t sure exactly what to say.
“Hey,” Scott opened for him. “I, uh. I brought Chewie as my ambassador, since he’s apparently much better with people than I am.”
“He’s growing fast,” Charlie said. That seemed safe. “Do you want coffee?”
Another safe subject. Maybe he could do this. Maybe they didn’t need to talk about anything uncomfortable at all.
“I could go for coffee,” Scott said, hugging Chewie close to his chest.
He looked unsure, too. At least both of them felt that way.
Charlie distracted himself by washing out the coffee pot, packing the filter, and paying very close attention to the exact water level in the machine before turning it on. He got out two cups and polished them with a clean dish towel, not ready to look at Scott again.
Maybe he couldn’t do this.
“I hurt you,” Scott said. “And I’m sorry.”
Now, Charlie had to look up. He could see the guilt written all over Scott’s face.
The thing was, as much as Scotthadhurt him—and he had, though Charlie knew he didn’t mean to—Charlie couldn’t be mad at him. Not really.
He could be sad about him, and angry at himself for letting his stupid feelings get in the way of a perfectly good friendship, but he couldn’t be mad at Scott. Scott was a sweetheart, more so than Charlie had ever been.
There was no sweeter person than one who took in stray dogs until they found loving homes. Who wanted to be a vet so he could help both people and animals.
Scott was a good man, down to his bones.
Charlie would have been an idiot to lose him over a few stray feelings.
“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Charlie said.
“Yeah, I do. We had the whole ‘sorry, but I’m straight’ talk, and then I turned around and kissed you again.”
Charlie didn’t miss the fact that Scott had saidagain. Now didn’t seem like the time to unpack that, but it was interesting that he was taking some responsibility for the first time.
