Throwing herself on the bed, she cursed the impossiblelove that had crept like a thief into her heart.
***
Guy found her in their room a half hour later, standingas still as a statue before the window which overlooked the winding RiverUsk.
"Leila?"
She did not turn or answer. He saw her shoulders stiffen,and his heart went out to her. By God, if he had anticipated Philip's outburst,he would never have shared his plans with his brother. To think she had heardall those horrible accusations . . .
Guy walked to the window, but he did not touch her. Shelooked so vulnerable, like fragile glass that might shatter on contact.
"Leila," he said softly, gazing at herprofile. "The matter has been settled. You will hear no more dissent fromPhilip. I want you to try and forget everything he said. Your hospital will beready tomorrow."
Unblinking, she stared down at the river.
"We reached an agreement, he and I," Guycontinued, wondering if she was even listening. "If Philip keeps hisobjections to himself, he will remain my steward. I believe he values his positiontoo highly to trouble you again." He waited for a reply. None came. "Leila,did you hear me?"
Silence reigned for a long, long moment, but finallyher lips parted.
"Those roses in the garden," shemurmured,her low voice almost a whisper. She did not turnher head, but he saw a tear trickle down her cheek. "Damask roses."
Sighing, Guy knew now that her mind was not on Philip. "Whatof them, my love?" he asked, pressing her gently.
"How . . . ?"
Understanding flooded him. "My father brought themback from the Holy Land as a gift for my mother. He was also a crusader knight."
Another tear slid slowly down her cheek. "They'reso far from home."
A tightnessgripped histhroat, her deep hurt becoming his own. Folding her in his arms, he, too, gazedout unseeing at the river. He could saynothing,hewas so choked by emotion.
Philip's words had done their damage. He sensed, deepin his heart, that he and Leila would have to start all over again. At thatmoment, she was as far from him in spirit as if shewereacross the Mediterranean Sea, half a world away.
Chapter 23
"May I roll those bandages, Lady Leila?"Nicholas asked, eagerly eyeing the new pile of linen strips atop the table. Hepointed with pride at the clumsily rolled bundles he had stacked in a lopsidedpyramid. "See, I finished the ones you gave me."
"So you did," Leila replied with an indulgentsmile, handing him the strips she had just cut from a large bolt of whitefabric. "And what a fine job, too. I don't know how I'd get all my workdone without you, Nicholas deWarenne."
As the little boy giggled and plunged happily into hisnew task, Leila found herself watching him for a moment.
Truly, what would she have done these past four weekswithout Nicholas? He had become her constant companion during the long days shehad spent in her hospital, his livelychatterandenthusiasm the tonic she needed to keep her mind off her troubles.
She glanced ruefully around the room lit with latemorning sunshine, at the clean-swept floors, whitewashed walls, and tidily madebeds.
Her empty hospital.
Few patients had come through her door, and so far nonehad required an overnight stay. There had been some children with scraped kneesand cuts, knights who had drunk too much the night before, a first-time motherstill two months from childbirth who had come in with the usual fears andworries, a serving woman with cramps, but not much else. And all of thesepeople had been closely associated withWarenneCastle. She had seen no tenants from the surrounding villages and farms. Notone.
Sighing softly, Leila gazed at Nicholas again. It wasfunny how he had opted to spend much of his time with her rather than shootinga bow and arrow with his friends, chatting with the castle guard, or playingwith his hunting dogs or pet hawk, all things he had said he liked to do. Shehad to admit she was becoming quite fond of him, which concerned her.
These last weeks had not changed her mind aboutanything. She still clung fiercely to her plan of escape. She had managed toadd some coins to her hidden cache, a portion of the money Guy had given her tospend when traveling merchants and their caravans visited the castle, and nowshe had his late mother's ring as well. Yet altogether it still wasn't nearlyenough to pay her way back to Damascus.
She glanced at the wide, filigreed gold band on thethird finger of her left hand. Threebloodredrubiesglinted like crimson fire in the sunlight filtering through the glazed window.
Guy had given it to her on the same day he had told herabout the hospital. Now every time she looked at the ring, she felt a terribleguilt, but there was nothing to be done about it. She was determined to leavehim, which meant she was determined to leave Nicholas, too. This empty room wasonly one small proof that love could not overcome the fact that she didn'tbelong here, that she would never be accepted.
Leila threw the child a small smile when he looked upto find her studying him. He grinned and fell back to his work, his smallfingers fumbling with a strip as he tried to roll it carefully.
