He takes a deep breath and leans back with his eyes closed.
I sit and watch, unsure of what he’s thinking.
“We need to just get to it and stop wasting time. To do that means I need to start from the beginning and explain about Sebastian and how my life has changed over the last five years since Claud was born. But before that, know I never wanted to end things with you, Jules. You drive me fucking crazy. I’ve never felt this way for another woman.”
“Not even Rachel?” I mumble and immediately want to kick myself for my immature insecurities.
Get your shit together, Juliette.
“Don’t ask stupid fucking questions. I’ve told you this before. She and all the others were nothing more than an easy fuck.” My stomach drops at the thought of him with other women. He squeezes my hand, sensing my hurt. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m sorry. Truly, she means nothing.”
I nod. I hate feeling jealous, but can’t stop it whenever I think of another woman in his arms.
It makes me physically ill.
“Baby, look at me.” I cast my eyes up to his, full of sorrow. “It makes me crazy too. I should have realized, but I hate the idea of you comparing yourself to her or anyone else. You are on such adifferent level than any woman I’ve ever been with. No one could ever compare to you.”
I nod my head in agreement, something I know I need to work on, and we have more important things to discuss.
He takes a deep breath, struggling to get the words out. “You know me and my brothers, however, you don’t know we also had a sister, Camila. She died of ovarian cancer five years ago.”
Instantly, tears prickle in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Harrison.”
He smiles with a hint of sadness. “She was Claudina’s mother, and…I am not her biological father.” My mouth opens, but no words come out. “Camila fell pregnant after a one-night stand while she was in remission. Although as protective brothers, we weren’t thrilled on how it all went down, we were still ecstatic to bring a little Camila into this world. She would have four uncles who would be there to protect and love her, and she would never need a father.” He takes a deep breath. “God, we were crazier than Camila. We read every book and took turns taking all the pregnancy classes. We were equally invested. Then, while pregnant with Claud, her cancer came back.”
“Oh my god.” A lump forms in my throat. “Treatment didn’t help?”
He runs his hands over his face and clenches his jaw to hold back his emotions. “She refused treatment until her third trimester. By then, we all knew it was too late,” he mutters.
I rub my chest as pain radiates through me for his whole family. “She gave up her life so her daughter could have one,” I whisper, and he nods, confirming.
Silence hangs in the room before he continues.
I’ve always loved Claud, but now, I love her mother as well—what a selfless, amazing woman.
“She didn’t want Claud to be both mother and fatherless, so she put my name on the birth certificate. She and I were best friends, and she was closest to me out of all the brothers. Since Iwasn’t blood-related, it made sense. Then, when the time came and shit got real, we needed a plan for Claud. I knew deep down she was always mine. It was never a question. I was even ready to fight for her. But I had to tread lightly with Sebastian since he was Camila’s older biological brother.”
I interlock our fingers and hold his hand for support when I see him struggling, “Keep going,” I encourage.
“As Camila got worse, Seb became extremely depressed and still is, if I’m being honest. He’s had a hard journey navigating his feelings, and because of that, Camila chose me as the father. Seb ultimately agreed when he realized what a bad place he was in.”
“Does Claud know?”
“That I’m not her biological father? No. Definitely not. I don’t even want to think of the day I need to tell her, if ever. She knows all about Camila, though. We talk about her almost every day. I never want her to forget her.”
“Don’t ever stop. It is exactly why I talk to my dad at night. Their memory stays alive through the people who remember them the most. And from learning how selfless Camila was, never ever let her forget.”
Harrison smiles softly. “I won’t.”
“I never told you, but my dad also died of cancer. It happened so fast that we didn’t see it coming. He was misdiagnosed, and then it was like a whirlwind of events, and he died.” I sigh, all cried out at this point. “I had never felt agony like that, but I remind myself it’s nowhere near the pain he was in, physically and mentally.”
He rubs his fingers along the curvature of my face. “We’re a sorry pair, aren’t we?”
I smile sadly. Life is truly unfair. “Now it makes sense what Claud said yesterday.”
“What’s that?”
“That her mom would have loved to be there at ballet. She mentioned that she thought she would like me.”
