What did I do to us?
“Whatever, I’m going to sleep.” He walks to the side of the house where the guest rooms are. It’s not that I expected him to sleep with me, but it still hurts.
At least he came home… That’s a good sign, right?
“I’ll be right back,” Sadie whispers, jumping up to follow her brother.
Jackson
“Sades.” I exhale heavily. “I’m not in the mood. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I continue my path down the hall to the one guest room that has bedding.
Sadie’s footsteps don’t falter behind me, following me into the bedroom.
I do my best to ignore her, done with talking for the day.
“I’ll stay here all night if I have to, so it’s probably best you just get it over with and talk to me.”
I drop my head in frustration, but I don’t want to take it out on my sister. “What else is there to say? You know all the facts. Nothing has changed in the last couple hours.”
“True, but I don’t know how you’re feeling. Is it not okay for me to check up on my brother after what he’s gone through?”
I shrug. “I’m fine.”
“Are you, though? Are you truly fine?”
What does she think?
Narrowing my eyes, I answer, “No, I’m not fucking fine, Sadie. Last week I was in Italy having the time of my life with my wife. Someone I thought I knew everything about. Someone I trusted wholeheartedly. She betrayed all of that.”
“I understand you’re upset—”
“How could you understand what I’m going through? It’s not possible.”
She walks around me, her finger pointed in my direction. “Don’t take it out on me, Jack. I’m only trying to talk.”
I gulp down my unease. She’s right.
“Sorry.”
“Think about the big picture, Jackson. You share everything. Do you honestly think she would purposely keep this from you to hurt you?” I go still. “Yes, I know the two of you are closer than you let on. I’m not stupid. Tell me what hurts the most.”
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “That I missed out on being a dad, and if I stay with Belle, we’ll never have a baby.”
She takes a seat in the corner of the room and crosses her arms. “You didn’t miss out, Jack, because there was no baby. You’re making it sound like she aborted the baby or gave it up for adoption. She went through a horrific—not to mention traumatic—time in her life with no one by her side.” I open my mouth, but she stops me. “Don’t give me the crap about her not telling us. Unless you’ve been pregnant, you don’t have an input. Being pregnant and giving birth is hard enough. Your hormones are all over the place, you’re unstable at times, and you don’t know how to control your emotions. That’s how I felt when I gave birth to two healthy babies. Annabelle—” she cuts herself off, choking on her words. “She never gave birth. She was told that a baby growing inside her would never mature into anything and that they would need to remove it from her body. On top of discovering that she almost died, they also informed her that they’d need to remove part of her reproductive tract. That would be shocking to anyone, let alone someone who had just gone through what Belle did.”
My stomach drops at the horror of it all.
“Maybe this is my punishment for fucking around all my life, for being a player and never caring about anyone other than myself.”
“Maybe, or maybe you have nothing to freaking do with it.” She raises her voice. “And let me add, you don’t put a timeline on when people overcome and heal from the hardships in their life. Get a good night’s sleep, mourn your baby, but wake up tomorrow and talk to your wife.” She shrugs. “Or don’t. Maybe no more words are needed, but support her and comfort her. Comfort each other.” She wipes her tears. “Be the brother I know, because that woman out there is not my best friend. She’s trying to act strong for you because she regrets the choices she’s made. But I can see she’s replaying it all over in her head, and I’m afraid she’ll eventually fall down a dark hole if she lets the trauma she buried deep come back up again.” Sadie walks to the door and stops. “My heart breaks for you both. Was she wrong for keeping it to herself after all these years? Yes. But people make mistakes, Jackson, and sometimes they don’t even realize they’re making them when it’s to protect themselves.”
A wave of sadness overwhelms me, and I drop my head to hide my emotions.
After standing in the same spot for a few minutes, I walk lifelessly to the bed and take my sister’s advice to mourn, so that tomorrow hopefully we can try again.
I cry for our baby.
But more than that, I cry for Annabelle.
