“How? Will I get over this hurt?” I look at Declan for my answers.
“Is your trust broken? Will you leave her over this?” he asks.
Thinking on it for a second, I answer honestly, “No… to both.”
“Then you need to go home. Sleep in another room if you have to, because—fuck.Can you imagine what she went through as a teenager? And now to bring up all the old memories of it? She must be going through some shite.”
“What about me and what I’m going through?” I don’t want to sound like a petulant child, but do my feelings of being left in the dark not count?
“Aye, no one’s saying you shouldn’t be hurting or even mad at her, mate. I think, though, if you go home, even if you don’t speak, she’ll feel the support.” He pauses. “No one can pretend they know what it’s like being in your shoes or Belle’s, but I do remember being seventeen.”
Annoyed, I ask, “And all the years after?”
They both shrug.
He passes me his phone, and it’s a text from Nora.
Pip: This isn’t good, Dec. Belle’s in bad shape. If he doesn’t fecking come home to his WIFE (did you know they’re married?!), we’ll stay with her. She shouldn’t be alone. I’m gutted for her… Can you imagine losing one of our babies? Then the operation? No wonder she doesn’t want to have kids. We’re holding Agnes and Aoife all night, I don’t care if we keep them up.
“I’ll go home,” I mutter and pick up my glass. “Well, let’s cheers to our baby.” Their faces drop as they somberly hold up their glasses. “Rest in peace, baby Peters.”
Annabelle
My head rests on Sadie’s lap that’s now soaked from all my tears as she strokes my hair, trying her best to comfort me.
I know deep down that I don’t deserve this kind of consoling.
She should be with her brother.
“Goddammit, Sadie,” I mumble as I raise my head to look at her. “Be mad at me. I’ve kept secrets from you. You’re the one person besides Jack I should have shared my world with. I was a coward. So stop it, be angry. I can take it,” I cry.
Her smile is sad as she sweeps the wet strands of hair from my face. “My sister soul mate, I am upset, yes. But I won’t be angry, and I won’t kick you when you’re down. We’ll work through this together.” She maneuvers my head into a better position and strokes my cheek. “Close your eyes and rest. You need to calm down.”
“I’m not one of the girls. You don’t need to treat me like a child.”
She chuckles lightly. “Fine, you look like dog shit. Now rest so you can get rid of those bags under your eyes. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
I smile, unable to control the small chuckle that slips through my lips. It feels nice to be happy for even a second. “Yes, darling. That’s exactly what I needed. I love you.”
“I love you too. And Belle, my brother loves you even more. He always has. He just needs time.”
I glance up into her eyes and see the truth behind them. “I hope you’re right, Sadie,” I whisper before closing my eyes.
Never would I have thought I could sleep in a time like this because in the darkness all I see is Jack, our baby, and the pain I’ve caused the people around me by keeping this secret.
My body can no longer take the pain though, and I’m forced into a fitful sleep.
* * *
“Annabelle, wake up,” Sadie’s soft voice echoes in my ear.
I’m already up. “You thought I could sleep through her ranting?”
Nora pauses mid-tirade. “Sorry,” she says, cringing. “I didn’t mean to wake you. My emotions are getting the best of me right now. How are you? Do you want something? Water?”
I nod, and then ask Sadie, “What’s she going on about?”
“I think she’s feeling very passionate about what’s going on. Jackson’s currently on her shit list.”
