“No! I don’t want to go!”
The outburst catches me off guard. Noah has never reacted like this before. Sure, he threw a few tantrums in the past, mostly when he got overtired, but he’s never refused to leave anywhere with me.
“Noah, sweetheart?—”
“No!” He backtracks to the door, shouting hysterically, “I want to stay with Dante. He said I can watch television.”
“Noah.” I straighten. “Calm down, please.”
“No,” he shouts at the top of his voice. “I don’t want to leave! I don’t want to leave! I want to fly in the plane and live in Dante’s big house. He said he’s coming back!” He bursts into tears. “He said he’s coming back!”
My heart shatters inside my chest. I’ve never seen my child like this.
Close to tears myself, I hold out a hand. “Noah, please.”
“Go away!” He throws the dinosaur at me. “Go away! I want to stay here!”
I glance over my shoulder at Jazz, who’s looking on helplessly.
Unable to stand it any longer, I rush over, kneel in front of him, and pull him into my arms. He fights me, kicking and crying, but I just hug him tighter while whispering soothing words in his hair.
“It’s all right, baby. I’m so sorry. You don’t have to leave. I’m sorry.”
It takes a moment before he calms down. I continue to clutch him against me as hiccups rack his small body.
Rocking him gently, I whisper, “I’m sorry, Noah. I’m so sorry, baby.”
I’m a monster. I broke my own child’s heart.
He sniffs against my chest before pulling away. When he looks at me with his tearstained cheeks, I swear he’ll never forgive me.
I get to my feet. “We can still play a game if you want. Maybe not dress-up.”
He sniffles some more and ducks his head. “I don’t want to play.”
Jazz touches my shoulder. Her gaze is sympathetic. “I’ll order breakfast.” She offers Noah a bright smile. “Pancakes, right?”
He runs from the room as fast as he can. A door slams down the lobby. The fact that he didn’t even take his dinosaur shows just how upset he is.
I hesitate between going after him and giving him a moment. Finally, I decide on the latter. He needs time more than he needs me right now.
Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes. I also need a minute to digest what’s just happened, what’s tipped the scale in our lives.
“I’m sorry, Tiana.”
I open my eyes to find Jazz standing in front of me, studying me with concern.
I try to give her a smile. “You should really stop saying that. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was my idea.”
“It was a good idea.”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth.
Suddenly exhausted, I shift down the wall until I sit on the floor with my back braced on the cool surface. Jazz sits down beside me and mimics my pose.
I take off the cap and drag my fingers through my brown hair. Then I pull my knees up and tip my head back to rest against the wall.
