We walk to the door and set a time to hang out again before he leaves, and I’m alone once more.
I head into the master bedroom to check my phone—there’s still no reply from Hope.
I’ll give it a day or two, and if I still don’t hear from her, then I’ll make her see, that no matter what, I’m not giving up. I’m not walking away, not unless she asks me to.
Chapter 35
Hope
Kaden:I know it might not mean anything to you now, but I need you to know how deeply, and utterly sorry I am for hurting you the way I did.
Kaden:I had planned to tell you everything that day, and even though Adrian beat me to it, I knew from the look on your face, that I was already too late.
Kaden:There’s still so much I need to say, so much you deserve to know. But I understand if you never want to see or hearfrom me again.
Kaden:Please don’t let this be the end, Hope. You have come to mean more to me than I ever expected. You and Zac. The thought of losing you both… it’s unbearable.
Kaden:I’m not going to give up. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I will earn your forgiveness, your trust. Whatever it takes. Even if it takes me years to rebuild.
Kaden:My heart aches, but I know it’s nothing compared to the pain I’ve caused you. And for that, I am so, incredibly sorry.
The words still land with the same sharp pang as they did the first time he sent them to me. Five days have passed since I discovered his secret, and I still can’t bring myself to respond, to type a single word back or answer any one of his calls.
I know it’s probably cruel at this point to keep him waiting, to offer nothing but silence and far too much time for him to imagine the worst. I should at least give him the chance to explain, to tell his side before I decide how, or if, we can move forward.
But the thought of knowing more terrifies me. Of seeing him not as the man I believed him to be, but as someonecapable of lies and deception, the same kind that shattered my marriage and unravelled my life. I’m not ready to face that, at least not right now.
The Kaden I had built in my mind would never have done something as unforgivable as what my ex-husband did. I truly believed we were bound by the same heartbreak, who had both been betrayed by the same selfish people. It never once crossed my mind that he might be no different from the man I married. That he, too, could lie to and betray his own wife.
And the fact that he continued seeing his affair partner not long after his wife left him feels just as bad—if not worse—than Adrian falling into bed with woman after woman so soon after our separation.
It’s these thoughts that keep my hand from reaching for my phone, what’s stopped me from calling him or replying to any of his texts. I’m still hurt. Still angry. Still devastated.
But beneath all of that, something else is beginning to take place, a quiet, aching sense of loss. A yearning I didn’t expect to feel so soon.
I miss my friend.
I miss his voice.
I miss his presence.
I misshim.
As I read his texts over and over, the feeling only deepens. His words have always had a way of melting something inside me, like they were pulled straight from somewhere honest, sincere.
Even now, knowing what I know, they don’t feel false. They don’t read like manipulation or empty apologies, the way Adrian so bluntly warned me they would. They still feel like him. Sound like him. The man I’ve come to know over the past month.
And that’s the hardest part of all. Do I believe he’s still the same man who shattered his wife’s heart, or has he truly changed? Is this new version of him just temporary, or has he genuinely learned from the past, making every possible effort to be a better person now… and in the future?
Honestly, I just don’t know. Only time will tell.
“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” Bernadette, the head nurse of the Post-Anaesthesia Recovery Unit at the private hospital where I work, asks.
We’ve just finished our last shift of the week and are getting ready to head home, back, for me, to my now uneventful life.
“Nothing exciting,” I reply honestly. “Zac’s staying at his grandparents tonight and won’t be back until tomorrow evening, so I was thinking of finishing up some of the renovations and maybe just lazing in front of the TV with a bottle of Shiraz, watching reruns ofThe Resident. What about you?”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound very exciting at all,” she chuckles. “I’ve got a hot date lined up tomorrow night. We’re going to Olivio’s for dinner, and if all goes well… hopefully back to mine afterwards,” she says, flashing me a wink.
