His gaze drops to his hands, shame instantly ghosting his features. “Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping much, and I don’t really have an appetite these days.”
“Have you gone to see someone for it?”
“Do you mean a GP or a therapist?”
“Just anyone who can help you, Adrian!” I snap, causing him to wince at my harsh tone. I don’t mean to be short with him, but it’s hard to keep my emotions in check when the person who once looked you dead in the eyes and swore they loved you every single day was secretly fucking another woman behind your back.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve just been dealing with things on my own.”
My eyes narrow, sharp and unblinking, darting between his face and the way his hands fidget anxiously on the table. I know I’m making him nervous, but he’s made me feel far worse, so forgive me if I’m enjoying the sight of him scared and on edge.
“Should I order us something?” he asks.
“No, I won’t be staying long.”
“Hope, come on.”
“Look, Adrian, we’re only here to discuss what’s going to happen between us, where we’ll be living and your visitation with Zac.I’d rather we sort this out between the two of us than drag it through the courts. So, with your cooperation, I’d really appreciate it if we can come to a fair arrangement—one that’s smooth and uncomplicated for all of us.”
I pause briefly, giving him a chance to oppose me, to argue his point, but he simply nods in agreement, so I continue. “And the other thing I wanted to talk you about… is the separation and divorce.”
His body stills, his hands frozen mid-fidget, and I swear it looks like he’s holding his breath too.
“Hope, please. Please give me another chance. I’ll never do wrong by you ever again.”
“And you expect me to trust your word? Just like that?” I click my fingers to emphasise my point.
“I’m going to change—I promise. I’ll do anything you want me to do. I’ll go to therapy, to marriage counselling. I’ll give you access to my phone and my laptop. I’ll even let you put a tracker in my car so you can see where I am at all times. Anything you ask, Hope, I’ll do it. I just don’t want to lose you.”
“It’s sad that I’d even have to do all those things in the first place,” I say, shaking my head. “Having to monitor your every move, isn’t how I dreamed our married life to be.”
“I’m so sorry… I don’t know what else I can do to make things right or for you to forgive me.”
“Forgiveness takes time, Adrian. You haven’t even begun to earn it, and you can sit there, telling me all the ways you plan to make it up to me until you’re blue in the face, but I stand by my decision, and it’s that I’m not going back.”
“You’re not even going to try—for the sake of our son? He’s too young to grow up in a broken family. What will his friends think when they ask why his father’s never around? How is this supposed to help him?”
“Everything I do, I do with our son in mind. I refuse to stay in a marriage where all he’ll see is his parents constantly fighting, and a mother consumed by mistrust, misery, and paranoia. I will not put Zac through that.”
He huffs out a bitter laugh. “So, that’s it, huh? You’re just gonna cut me out, and build a new life without me.”
“You’ll still have access to our son on the days we agree on, but yes—we will rebuild our lives and start fresh.”
“I can’t believe this,” he scoffs, shaking his head. “When can I expect to see my son?”
“This decision is based on the fact that the distance between our homes is too great and impractical for Zac to travel back and forth frequently, especially on school nights. I think it’s best that you have him every second weekend, so he isn’t constantly being moved around. And if you’re open to it, I’d prefer that you travel to Sydney to see him and stay with your parents if needed, in case of an emergency.”
“Fine. I’ll agree to that, only if I get to spend more time with him during the school holidays and that we share special occasions, such as birthdays and Christmas.”
“I’m open to that.”
“Is this really fucking happening? Are you really going to tear our family apart?”
“Adrian, when you had an affair for five whole months, then continued to lie and deceive us long after it ended, you didn’t just lose me or break my trust; you destroyed everything we built. You tore us apart, not me.”
“I never meant for any of it to happen. I swear. I know it sounds like another pathetic excuse to you, but it’s the truth. It wasn’t like I was looking to start an affair. I made a poor judgement, a mistake I deeply regret. I wish more than anything that I could go back and change everything.”
“You can’t. The damage is done, and now I’m the one left to pick up the pieces. You keep saying it was just a mistake, that you didn’t mean for it to happen, but you did. And you didn’t even care enough to stop until she became pregnant. For months, you met her in secret, slept with her, then came home to your family and lied straight to our faces. You knew exactly what you were doing, exactly how you were hurting me and Zac—yet you did it anyway. And that is why I will never go back to you.”
