‘I’m sorry’will never be enough, and that is the hard truth I am slowly learning to live with.
I came into our relationship carrying a tank full of insecurities, self-doubts and fears—none of them because of you, but all of them rooted in how I saw myself. You see, Skylar, there’s something I never told you…something I’ve always been too ashamed to confess.
I was the result of my father’s infidelity. His bastard. The child who was never meant to exist, but did. And because of that, I became the other half of the reason his world imploded before his eyes.
Before I even drew my first breath, before I came into the world, I was already unwanted, already unworthy. I grew up in a household where betrayal, control, and manipulation were the norm. I had never known what a healthy, loving relationship looked like.
Until I met you.
You were everything I had ever dreamed of—kind, beautiful, intelligent… perfect in every way that mattered. You loved me unconditionally, embracing my flaws and weaknesses, even when I was convinced I didn’t deserve it. From the moment I met you, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend my whole life with.
When we got married, I secretly vowed never to repeat the mistakes or fall into the same patterns as my parents when it came to our marriage. And for the most part, I kept that promise. I was devoted to you—and only you for almost a decade.
But I was cursed with the same flawed gene as my father, and in the end, I betrayed you in the most painful, unforgivable way. The heartache, the guilt, the shame, and the deep, suffocating remorse that followed when you left were enough to swallow me whole—enough to slowly lose myself. I had never known a pain so agonising as the one I felt when you walked away.
That was the beginning of my downward spiral, and what I hadn’t known at the time was that it would also mark the beginning of your happiness… and eventually, the start of your new love story with Heath.
Watching you build a connection with him while severing the one we had was the hardest thingI’ve ever faced, but also one I deserved to endure. And even now, as you prepare to walk down the aisle and spend the rest of your life with him, that crushing pain hasn’t eased in the slightest.
But knowing you’re in safe, capable hands with someone worthier, someone who would never hurt you the way I did, is the only thing that brings me any comfort.
As for me… I suppose you could say Karma finally came knocking. When the baby I had believed was mine turned out to be yet another of Lucia’s lies and betrayals, I knew I had received my punishment. And what a cruel, merciless punishment it was. Some might even call it deserved, say it fit the crime I committed—but regardless, it tore apart whatever fragile hope I had left in this world.
I fell into the deepest, darkest parts of hell—places I never thought I’d climb out of. Not even Jason could reach me there. I slowly destroyed myself, until a simple friendship bracelet, made and gifted to me by Jake, snapped me wide awake.
Can you believe it—a bracelet made by a child? Yet it was so much more than that. Itwas a heavy reminder that I was failing him in every way—as a godfather, as a friend, as someone meant to help guide him through life. And I couldn’t bear the thought of letting him and Jason down like that.
So I made it my mission to finally get the help I needed—to stop drinking myself towards death, and start making real changes, not just in my lifestyle, but within myself. And I did–I still am. I’m in therapy now, where she helps me face the feelings and experiences I’ve spent a long time avoiding, to understand them, learn from them, and finally ensure I never make the same destructive choices again.
While it’s been incredibly hard work, I have no intention of ever giving up. The battle ahead will be long and gruelling, and still, I’ve never felt more ready, more determined, to do what it takes. Even if it’s too late to undo the past, I know there’s still a future ahead of me, however lonely or uncertain it may be. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure—it’s that I never want to return to the person I once was.
I wrote this letter never intending to give it to you. Yet if it ever finds its way to you, know that I willalways be grateful—for the moments we shared, for the lessons you unknowingly taught me, and for the love you offered when I never deserved it.
I hope you never lose that spark that once lit up every path you walked. And I’m sure Heath recognised that in you the moment he saw you. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness. You deserve nothing less.
They say the hardest part of loving someone is learning to let them go. So, I’m going to let go now, Skylar. For you. For me. And for the man I hope I will one day be.
With all my love,
Kaden.
Tears I hadn’t realised had gathered in my eyes spill down my face, disappearing into the collar of my shirt. My hands tremble as I carefully tuck the letter back into the envelope and quietly return it to the drawer.
When I lift my gaze, I find Kaden standing in the doorway, a dark frown carved into his brow, his fists clenched tight at his sides. And as our eyes lock, I see it—sorrow, raw and unguarded… tangled with something else. Something that looks painfully like hurt.
Chapter 44
Kaden
She read it. I can’t believe she read the letter. The one that was never meant for anyone else’s eyes but mine. Not even Skylar’s. And she just helped herself to something that was meant to remain private. The guilt written all over her face tells me she knows it too—she crossed a line. She had no right. She invaded something deeply personal.
“You shouldn’t have read that.” The words leave me raw, my voice rough and strained, as though each syllable drags against my throat like sandpaper.
She swipes at her cheeks, letting out a heavy sigh. “Kaden… I… I…” she stammers, her mouth opening, then closing again, unable to find a good enough reason as to why she was snooping.
“Did you find what you needed?” I ask, and from the knowing look in her eyes, I can tell she knows I’m not talking about the batteries.
When she still doesn’t answer, I nod quietly, step back, and walk away. As I do, I hear Hope call out to me, her footsteps following immediately, but I keep moving, slipping behind the island once again and busying myself with the dishes in the sink.
