"I'm fine. Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."
His eyes search mine. "When someone says they need to talk, that's never good."
"It's nothing bad. I promise." The lie tastes bitter. "I just missed you. Wanted to see you."
He doesn't look convinced but doesn't push. "Want to go for a walk? I've been sitting on a plane all day."
"Yeah. That sounds good."
We walk to the park a few blocks away. The November air is cold. A few kids are playing on the playground. An older couple walks their dog past us.
Normal Saturday things. Like our lives are normal.
"Tell me about Miami," I say.
His face lights up. "It was perfect, exactly what I needed. Beach, sun, absolutely zero responsibilities."
"Sounds nice."
"It was. Pierce got the worst sunburn I've ever seen." He's smiling as he talks. Animated. Happy.
I haven't seen him this relaxed in weeks.
"I'm glad you went," I say honestly. "You needed it."
"I did. Though I missed you." He takes my hand. "Kept wishing you were there."
The words make my chest ache.
"How was Thanksgiving with your dad?" he asks.
"Good. Quiet. Just the two of us." I don't mention the conversation. The hard questions. The realization that I'm not willing to sacrifice what he is.
"I'm sorry I didn't come. I should have met him."
"It's okay. There will be other holidays."
Will there? I don't know. But I can't say that.
We walk in silence for a moment.
"So," I finally say. "Dev camp. You ready?"
He stops walking. "Actually, yeah. I am."
"You decided to go?"
"I did. I talked to Ashton about it in Miami. He basically said the same thing you did."
“Good,” I say. “Really good. I’m glad you’re taking the opportunity.”
“I figure I need to get it over with. See what happens." He starts walking again. "Part of me is terrified I'll get there and realize I don't want it. I've spent my whole life working toward something I don't actually care about."
"And the other part?"
"I’m terrified I'll love it.”
I laugh. “I don’t think you need to be afraid of loving it. I don’t understand why you’re terrified.”
