I drift slowly in and out of her until I can’t handle it any longer; the sensation becomes too much, pulling out of her, easing her back to standing.
“My legs are fucking shaking.” She laughs out loud.
We both bathe one another, taking our time cleaning every inch of each other’s skin, until the water turns cold, and we’re forced out of the shower.
That night, I hold the one thing that matters most to me in my arms, promising her I’ll never look at her like she’s fragile again.
Chapter Nineteen
Rowan
Everything is back to normal. Luca no longer looks at me like I’ll break from his touch. Weeks is back, but he mentions nothing about what happened while he was gone or why he left.
I never told Luca about the night Roxy ran off. It hasn’t happened since, so I don’t want to alert him for no reason.
Luca heads out tomorrow for a job, and that’s my cue to watch David again. I haven’t come up with an excuse to tell Weeks why I’ll be leaving tomorrow, but I need to put some feelers out while they're both home.
Since the night with Dr. Maggie, my need to confront David and set everything right has become a fire in my belly. It’s all I think about. I dream of it. It’s consuming me.
I’ve been able to abate my pain with pain medicine, something stronger than Tylenol. And the relief is something I didn’t think I’d ever have. My body feels like mine once again, like mine before that night.
My blood tests came back fine, which is a relief. I didn’t mention to Luca that the chance of getting pregnant with the scar tissue could be hard, but not impossible. That’s something for down the road, and I don’t even know if I want children. I’m scared to bring something so innocent into this fucked up world. I don’t want to ruin something so pure, and with the way my life has gone, I’m scared I will. David has fucked with my mind when it comes to that. Maybe in a few years, it’ll be somethingI can overcome, but right now, I can’t. I’m kind of relieved that it’ll be hard for me to get pregnant, something I don’t have to worry about now. On top of giving me pain medicine, I’m now on birth control pills as well. I take them religiously. I love Luca and the way we become one when we make love, so a condom isn’t something I want to introduce into our sex life. I smile as I knock on the wooden table in front of me, trying to not jinx myself with a baby.
Leaning my head back on the sofa, I stare at the vaulted ceiling as the fan spins. My eyes try to track one certain blade as it makes its full circle, lost in thought of Luca, David, and my plan for tomorrow.
“Baby!”
I lift my head, seeing Luca stand at the threshold of the living room, perplexed, arms crossed
“Yeah?”
“I was calling your name for a good minute. Where were you?” he asks as he steps down, striding toward me. I hear the back door opening, knowing its Weeks coming in. It’s go time.
I put on an exasperated face. “Just thinking about everything I need to get done.”
Luca cocks his eyebrows at me as he sits down next to me, the cushion indenting under his weight, pivoting me more toward him.
Straightening myself up, I say, “I need to go into the gym tomorrow, take inventory, and make sure billing is all up to date. And I need a haircut.” I wrap a strand of hair around my finger, looking at the nonexistent dead ends.
Luca opens his mouth, but Weeks interrupts him before he speaks. “I need to go into town, too. I have some stuff at the gym I need to get squared away. We can ride together.”
I glower at him but immediately swipe my face, plastering on a fake smile, this asshole. “Sounds good. However, I will not finish for a while.
Sinking into the chair crossways from us, he says, “Shit, that’s no worries. I’m sure I can keep myself busy.”
I turn toward Luca, and I catch him before he loses the smile on his lips. These fuckers are in cahoots.
Standing, I say, “Well, now that’s cleared up. I’ll be driving us.” I have to make sure I have a vehicle. My mind races with how I’m going to make this work. The time it’ll take to get there and to get back. He’s still a three-hour drive from the gym, but I have to make this look like I needed to go to Hard Knocks. Fuck, why did I even say that?
Needing to distance myself from Luca and Weeks’ stare, I busy my hands with pouring a glass of wine, giving them my back while I stand in the kitchen. I don’t have a tell, but I know Luca can read me like a book.
With my glass in hand, I head out to the back porch, breathing in the fresh, crisp air.
Out here, you feel like you're in a totally different world. There is no light pollution, no sounds of vehicles. Only the animals and insects.
We have lights strung up around the back porch that give off just enough light. But if you try to look out farther, you’re looking into pure darkness. I try not to think about that, or I’ll freak myself out. With a pull, I wrap the throw that stays out here around my shoulders. I push the button on the remote to start the fire pit. I smell the propane before I hear it. Jumping up, I run to the pit; the smell is overwhelming. Pushing the off button, it doesn’t work.
Panic, pure panic, runs through me as I’ve never smelled it this bad before.
