“You okay?” His whiskey breath cascades over my skin and to my nose.
“I will be,” I say with every ounce I have. Because I will be. I have to be.
Chapter Eighteen
Luca
Rowan didn’t really speak about her time with Dr. Maggie. I wanted to talk about it, but I could tell that she didn’t want to. I would have given everything to have been in that room with her, just for her to know she didn’t have to be alone. That she isn’t in this alone. Fuck. But I sat on the barstool and had myself a few glasses of whiskey, my mind spiraling the whole time.
That was two weeks ago, and I’ve done everything in my power to keep my distance from her, which is hard when she’s my magnet. I’m scared I’ll now hurt her. So, I’m constantly walking around with blue balls, and she’s throwing me dirty looks.
Walking into the kitchen, Rowan stands at the island, her body swaying back and forth to the music playing while she preps dinner. I stop and watch her; she’s in her own world. My T-shirt falls to her thighs, oversized. Just like this is when I think she is the most beautiful woman.
I can’t help the smile that overtakes my lips as I pull out my cell phone, quickly taking a picture, wanting to remember this exact moment forever. My eyes pan down to her toned legs. I close my eyes as my dick jumps.
Down boy.
“What are you making?” I ask as I close the distance between us.
She turns slightly, looking over her shoulder, looks me up and down, but doesn’t speak as she turns back around, continuing what she was doing.
She is a brat.
Walking up behind her, I encase her with my arms as I lean over and kiss her cheek.
Her knife that’s currently cutting the vegetables in front of her stops as she leans her head back onto me. I hear her breathing in deeply before she speaks. “Watch out now; you don’t want to break me.”
Pushing away from the island, she stumbles back a bit from my abrupt movement before I walk around it, wanting to look her in the eyes.
“Don’t play that shit with me. You didn’t even tell me what was said, Rowan. And you expect me to go on about our life as if you’re not in pain, that I know that having sex is most likely painful, but you’ve never told me. What kind of man would I be? To be okay with you being hurt, just so I can get a nut off.” I laugh, but it’s more manic sounding. I lean onto the island, looking right at her. Her face morphs as I watch her, from neutral to pissed off.
“You don’t think these two weeks have been rough? All I want to do is bend you over and sink into your pussy. That’s on constant repeat all day, but I love you and you mean more to me than just a wet fucking hole, baby.” Straightening up, I crack my neck. Without another word, I exit the kitchen, heading immediately to my gym. I don’t even give two shits about wrapping my hands. I hit the boxing bag over and over until my knuckles hurt.
Panting and sweating, I fall onto the bench, elbows on my knees, while my sore hands run through my hair.
“Hey.”
I pan up, and Rowan stands at the doorway.
“I’m not mad at you; I’m just annoyed,” she states as she walks toward me before stopping in front of me. I straighten up, looking up to her, locking eyes. “The reason I love you, Luca, is that you’re not like other men. You care about me. About my well-being, my mental and emotional. And you love me for all the fucked-up parts of me,” she says, while running her fingers through my mussed-up hair.
On a whispered breath, she says, “I just miss you.”
Her scent wraps around me, and I can’t help wrapping my arms around her hips, pulling her even closer to me, sinking my nose over the T-shirt, right where I know her sweet mound lays, breathing her in.
“Fuck,” I groan out.
I want her, I need her, but my head is scared I’ll hurt her.
Rowan pushes my shoulders, and I pan up at her as she slowly eases down on me, straddling my legs.
“Baby.”
“Shh.” She kisses my lips, stopping any words I was about to say, swallowing them down. Her tongue dances around mine as she softly strokes it with hers, before breaking the kiss, staring into my eyes, into my soul, as she grinds on me.
My eyes close of their own accord, the pressure waking up my dick. My hands wrap around her back, bringing her even closer to me.
The scent of her hair is intoxicating. Breathe her in, squishing my face into her neck. She continues to move faster. Her friction is becoming jerkier.
