Rowan closes her eyes as I wipe her face, drying her tears.
In one swoop, I have her in my arms, carrying her up the stairs, laying her on the bed, before I go and draw her a hot bath.
Once I’m happy on the temp, I walk back into the room, where she is now curled into a fetal position.
I handle her easily, removing her clothing from her shaking body, before carrying her into the bathroom.
Standing at the tub, I look at her, then at the floor. Saying fuck it, I step into the tub fully dressed, gently setting her in the warm water before I sit behind her, clothed.
“Luca,” she whispers.
I chuckle while pulling her back to my chest; the water continues running, my hands rubbing up and down her stomach.
“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?”
She shrugs. "I didn't want to admit that they did something to me…that's been affecting me since that night." It comes out so quietly that I want to fucking scream.
“Rowan, we need to know if you’re okay. We have to.” I’m now worried, scared, but I won’t let her in on it. Knowing the damage that can be caused by rape, the magnitude of their actions isn’t lost on me. The damage her body endured, the weeks of her bleeding, not only from her vagina but rectum too. Leaning my head back, taking a deep breath, I don’t loosen my hold on her. “I’m having the doctor come. I want you checked.”
“I…”
I don’t let her speak another word. “No, it’s happening.” I end the conversation right there. Kissing the top of her head, Ilean up and turn off the water before trudging out of the bath, slopping wet. Stepping into the shower, I undress, leaving my clothes there, then put on dry ones.
“Relax and soak,” I tell her at the doorway before grabbing my phone and walking to the office.
The phone rings a few times before someone picks up and says, “Maggie.”
“Hey Maggie, it’s Luca. Are you free? I need a checkup on my girlfriend, Rowan…”
“What for, son?”
I bite my lip, not wanting to say, but knowing I need to. “Rowan, my girlfriend, was brutally attacked by three men over a year ago. Since then, she’s been in constant pain, but the last month has been something totally different, she says. Today, she passed out in front of me,” I spit out, needing the words to leave me.
“Okay. Send me your address and I can be there in a few hours.”
“Thank you.”
“It’ll cost five thousand,” she speaks nonchalantly.
“That’s fine. Just get here.” I hang up the phone. I don’t give a fuck how much it costs; I just need to know she’s okay.
Maggie has been the woman I’ve always worked with; she’s trusted and vetted. Her house calls come at a price and in silence, so her amount doesn’t make me blink twice.
Breathing in deeply, filling my lungs with the scent of wood cleaner, I sit in my chair as the images of Rowan lying on the ground, oblivious, wreaking havoc on my psyche, and it’s nothing I ever want to witness again. Still, my mind won’t stop thinking about it.
Spinning around, I face the window; my mind won't shut the hell up. I’m mad at her for not telling me. Mad that she’s been in pain all this time. And it hits me like a freight train; we’re notsoft and easy, we’re frenetic and hard when we fuck. And that makes my stomach sink, thinking about whether I caused her more pain just by wanting to be one with her. Leaning back, my chair cries out in strain as I stare up at the ceiling, mulling over the last year. It feels like these men, no matter if they’re dead and gone, will always have a way to haunt her. And if I could, I would raise them from the dead and torture them repeatedly.
I’m spiraling inside when I hear the only lifesaver I have, her voice.
“Luca?”
Snapping out of my thoughts, I ease up and turn around. Rowan stands in the middle of the office, her robe wet, her hair wet. She looks beautiful just like this, as the sun shines through the window and highlights her, my own personal angel. The only person to ever give me a reason, a reason other than to kill. A reason to really live and love.
“Come.” I pat my knee, and she smiles at me as she walks over.
“Where were you?” she asks as she sits down.
“Huh?” I push her wet hair behind her ear.
