“The best. It’s all sunshine and rainbows comin’ out of my ass,” I say, dryly. “Why don’t you come on over and see for yourself?”
Tom chuckles over the line before letting out a long sigh. “Maybe some other time.”
“Damn, got my hopes up for nothing.” I take my shoes off and place them on the mat by my door. The rooms are small, four simple painted white brick walls with a bed in them, but they do the job. From what I’ve gathered, Chief is living upstairs in one of the bigger rooms with its own private bathroom. Everything else is shared in the common areas.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but listen. I’m driving home. Do you want me to stop and let Ellie out for you before I do?”
I can hear the blinker from his truck flickering in the background. I check the time, and it’s a little after seven. Tris will have made it home by now.
“No, it’s alright. I got it covered.”
“Really? Because it’s no big deal. I could stop by, play with her, and throw the ball a few times.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose because I know Tom. He loves to help, to fix things, to make the people he cares about’s lives easier in any way he can. It’s great, but it’s also a pain.
“It’s taken care of. I’m sure she’s getting plenty of exercise.” I realize the moment the words leave my mouth that I put my foot in it.
“Getting?”
“Yeah,” I drawl.
“Care to elaborate?” I can hear the amusement in his voice through the phone.
“Not really.” I lay back on the bed, throwing my arm over my face.
“I could just go there and see for myself. Oh look,” he says, a lilt in his voice. “That’s your street, right up ahead.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you,” I warn, a smirk starting on my face as it occurs to me the trouble that Tris would give Tom for “checking up” on her and Ellie. She’d probably chew his ear off for the trouble of answering the door. Then again, I’ll probably get an earful as well if she thinks I sent him. “Tom, don’t go there.”
“Who’s watching Ellie, Levi?”
“She’s with Tris,” I grumble, the words tasting sour as I say them out loud.
A bark of laughter has me pulling the phone back from my ear.
“On second thought, go ahead and check on her. Let me know if she chases you off with a stick or just her bare hands.”
“Woooo,” he hollers. “That’s the last person I ever expected you to trust with Ellie. Damn, I mean, I guess it’s convenient.”
“Mhm. Is that all?” I ask, ready for this conversation to be over with before Tom starts in on more questions.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s all,” he finally relents.
“Talk soon.”
Afew hours later, I find myself tossing and turning. I pull the thick cotton quilt off of me and roll out of bed. I make my way to the kitchen, hoping to put an end to the relentless growling of my stomach. It’s been so loud I half expected the guys to start banging on the walls. Scratching at my beard, I stop when I get to the kitchen and see that the light is already on.
The chief’s head pops out from behind the refrigerator door as I get closer. “Figured you’d be back here tonight,” he laughs to himself and pulls out two containers of leftovers, handing one over to me.
“Thanks.” I grab the container and heat it up, watching as it spins around in the microwave before joining him at the long dining room table. We eat in silence until he clears his throat.
“A few years back, my ex-wife and I...” He pauses. “We lost a baby. She was about five months along. It was a little girl.”
He looks far away as he speaks, like he’s reaching for the memory instead of the feelings tied to it. Even so, he carries the weight of a man haunted, etched in pain he can’t quite hide. I keep eating, giving him the space he seems to need, waiting while he takes his time finding the rest of the words.
“It changed Jassenia. She withdrew into herself, and I did what I’ve always done best. I buried myself in work. I thought after having our boy, Scout, we’d find our way back to each other, but Jay and I had become strangers. She wasn’t the woman I fell in love with anymore, or the best friend I thought I knew. The doctors said she has postpartum depression. One of the worst cases they’ve seen. I didn’t know how to be there for her, so I wasn’t. I messed up. She handed me the cake and divorce papers on my son’s firstbirthday.” He leans back in his chair, stabbing the potatoes on his plate haphazardly.
The pain and weight he carries, everything I noticed the first day I met him, it all makes more sense after understanding what he’s been through.
