I reach for her arm. “Ava, wait—”
“For what?” She yanks it away from me. “Go back to your friend. I’ll see you in court.”
I drop my hand away, and she glances at it. For the briefest moment, I think I see a flash of regret and sadness. It’s gone so quickly that I think I might have imagined it. At this point, I probably did.
Anger at her and at myself wells within me. “Right. See you in court, Ms. Kendrick,” I hiss.
The low thrum of conversation mixes with the clink of pint glasses and the faint smell of fried food. My muscles ache pleasantly from the skate, but I can’t think of anything but Ava. To say I’m distracted would be an understatement.
Adam takes a long drink of his beer before side-eyeing me. “All right, spill it. You’ve been in your head since before we hit the ice. And don’t give me some bullshit ‘I’m just tired’ excuse. What’s going on?”
I hesitate, my thumb tracing my glass. I know I shouldn’t talk about it. But goddamn, I’m tired of holding onto this secret. And whatever we had is probably already over anyway. “It’s… complicated,” I say at last, keeping my eyes on the table.
“Yeah, no shit,” he says with a dry snort. “I picked up on that.”
“I have been sort of seeing someone for a while,” I say quietly, “and it’s messy. I want more than I think she can give me.”
Adam lets out a long breath and scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I’ve got a bad feeling you’re about to say it’s the viper. And surely—surely—that’s not what you’re about to say, right?”
I don’t answer, just sit there tearing my napkin into shreds.
“Shit.” He leans back in his chair, flagging the waitress down with two fingers. “We’re gonna need something stronger over here. Bourbon and triple sec for him, whiskey neat for me.”
After she walks away, I finally lift my head to meet his eyes. “I’ve got it really goddamn bad for the viper,” I admit.
He stares at me, then shakes his head in disbelief. “But… why? I mean, yeah, she’s a smokeshow, but you two do nothing but fight. I’ve seen you at each other in court and at fundraisers. Hell, didn’t you two almost come to blows over a sandwich at that deli by your office?”
I sigh. “What you haven’t seen,” I say, “are the decidedly non-fighting things we've been doing for the last six weeks or so when we’re alone.”
“Six weeks?!” Adam hisses, pitching forward. “You’ve been sleeping with Ava fucking Kendrick for months, and this is the first I’m hearing about it? I’d be impressed if I wasn’t kind of hurt.”
“Keep your goddamn voice down,” I snap. He raises his hands in apology. “It’s been exhausting keeping it quiet,” I continue, “constantly worrying someone will find out and we’ll end up in hot water with the bar. Or with Harvey. You know how he feels about her.”
Adam grimaces. “I didn’t even think about the bar. That’d be a big deal, right? Since you’ve tried so many cases against each other?”
“Yeah,” I say with a nod. “Lose our licenses big. Especially if it looks like we hid it instead of recusing ourselves.”
“So whynot come clean?” he asks. “She could move to a different borough easily.”
I blow out a slow breath. “Goddamn NYTV. I cannot pay for that kind of publicity if I want a real shot at Harvey’s job.”
He gives me a look. “Then why not just stop?”
I laugh humorlessly. “Don’t you think I’ve tried?”
We sit quietly for a minute, staring into our drinks.
Finally, he clears his throat. “You gotta tell me. Like, it’s gotta be top-shelf sex, right? With the way you two go at it in the courtroom? She looks like the type to fuck like she fights.” He overdramatically waggles his eyebrows, successfully breaking the tension.
I shake my head, though a smile tugs at my lips. “You don’t have a clue, brother. Liquid heroin straight to the heart is less of a high and less addictive than she is.”
“Goddamn,” he mutters. “No wonder you’re twisted up.”
“It’s not just that, though,” I say, swirling the liquid in my glass, watching the light reflect on the amber. “She challenges me. Every day. I’m never bored with Ava. She’s infuriating and brilliant, sometimes in the same breath. I’ve never met a woman like her. Some nights she falls asleep beside me and I just… watch her. Like if I blink, I’ll miss how that big, beautiful brain of hers works.”
He studies me like he’s never seen me before. “Jesus. You weren’t kidding. You do have it bad. You sound like you’re in love with her. Does she feel the same way?”
“Sometimes I think so.But she won’t let me in. Every time I get close, she bolts. This morning, I thought we’d made a lot of progress, but then after you opened your big dumb mouth at the rink—” I shake my head. “What the hell was that about anyways? I expect some of the cops to give her shit like that, but you’ve never acted like that about her.”
