Twenty minutes passed without a single question directed at me.I felt like a ghost, invisible to them, perhaps forgotten.Just as I was about to remind them of my presence, Mrs.Gerosa glanced my way and said, “Thank you!You can go now.”
I had failed; they clearly didn't want me to pass.My time had been wasted.Maybe my written exams had gone so poorly that there was no point in even attempting this one.
I felt crushed.
Once outside, I spotted V waiting for me.Initially, she smiled, but it faded as she noticed my pale complexion and glassy eyes.
I sank onto the concrete steps, desperately searching for something—anything—to cling to and regain hope or positivity to move forward.But all I felt was overwhelming fatigue.It was always the same: just when I thought I was reaching for something I desired, I fell—again and again.
V sat with me, sharing the silence on that hot summer day, and Zane was there too, in my mind.I imagined him standing nearby, smiling, assuring me that things would improve if I just held onto hope.Buthopeplayed with me and left me again.
We had to wait a week for the results, which were oddly scheduled to be released on my birthday, June 29th.Last year, the results had come out in July, but with fewer students this year, the exams had ended sooner.
“Are you excited?”Davide asked, glancing at me through the rearview mirror as he drove us to school to check the results.I still couldn't understand why he was being so kind and letting me stay with them.
My dad had called, anxious to know where I was, but there was no word from my mom.I had told him I was taking exams, and he had cried.I didn't have the heart to tell him I had failed.I noticed Davide was still waiting for my response.
“I… I don't know.I don't think I passed,” I admitted, feeling the weight of the truth.
“Oh, I'm sure you did,” V said, looking back at me from the front seat.
The walk toward the results felt like a march toward my own sentencing.What would happen if I didn't graduate?Would I still be able to go to New York?Surely, I could find work as a waitress or do dishes; a diploma wasn't necessary for that.
V was buzzing with excitement, eager to find her name on the list.
“Oh my God, I got 78%!”she exclaimed, causing me to wince.I focused on the papers taped to the glass doors, but my name was elusive, the letters blurring into a language I couldn't decipher.“There you are!”V shouted again, pointing excitedly at my name before guiding her finger to the right.
I began to tremble, emotions bubbling beneath the surface like a volcano ready to erupt.I had scored 67%.Not much, but it was enough to pass.I passed.Zane, I passed.I double-checked my name several times, wanting to be certain.Mrs.Mancini spotted me from within the school and stepped outside.
“Happy Birthday!”she greeted me with a warm smile.
“It's today?Why didn't you say anything?”V asked, astonished.I merely shook my head.
“How?”I asked Mrs.Mancini, bewildered.“I thought I failed the oral exam.”
The professor met my gaze with understanding.
“We don't base our decisions on a single test.We've known you for five years.I realize the last few months have been difficult for you, but you shouldn't be punished for that.You deserve so much more.I wanted to help you achieve a better grade, but the school's policies made that tricky.So, this is the best we could do.Best of luck in your future, Luna.”She squeezed my arm gently before returning inside.
I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude; they had given me hope, and I needed to be careful not to lose it.Again.
“We are definitely celebrating!”V exclaimed.Celebrating?Was she serious?How could I celebrate when Zane was dead?
Chapter 47
The house was cloaked in darkness, a fitting reflection of the emptiness I felt inside.In front of me sat a small round cake, adorned with white frosting, three strawberries, and a solitary candle.
How many times had Zane celebrated at this table, blowing out his own candles?V and Davide waited patiently for me to make a wish, but my heart yearned for something impossible: I wished for Zane to be alive, to kiss me, to hear me whisper that I loved him.To touch me.To touch me.I desperately wanted him to touch me.
A foolish wish, I knew, one destined to remain unfulfilled.I longed to see Zane again, to experience his presence in reality rather than just in my mind.It was silly.Desperate, I would say.
Davide cut the cake, and I swallowed it as if I hadn't eaten in days, satisfying what I assumed was a pregnancy cravings.I expressed my gratitude to him for preparing dinner and getting a cake for my birthday.
Feeling weary, I decided to step outside for some fresh air.I found a chair to my left and settled into it, gazing upwards as stars gradually claimed the night sky, the sun slipping away behind the horizon.The cicadas chirped loudly, their song a pleasant reminder that summer was here.
“Mind if I join you?”V asked, stepping out of the house.I nodded, and she took the chair beside me, both of us lost in the beauty of the night sky.
“What's our plan now?”I inquired, curious about her thoughts.
