We were halfway to the airport when it suddenly sunk in what I was about to lose, and I broke down.I didn't care about appearing strong or masculine; the tears came, and they wouldn't be held back.Dad pulled over and just watched me, not saying anything.The words that came out of my mouth had their own will.
“Please, don't do this.I love her.I want to stay.I'll do whatever you ask,” I pleaded.His response was sharp.
“If you truly love her, then let her go.If you don't, you'll only hurt her.”My own father thought the worst of me.Maybe I really was the monster he believed I was.
I thought he would keep driving to the airport, but instead, he made a U-turn and headed back home.We didn't say a word about it afterward.
March 15
I found myself crying like a baby once more.What would we do for love?Everything.My little sister, unable to witness my misery any longer, spilled the truth to Dad.We spent the entire night huddled around the kitchen table, the three of us.Dad was crushed; I'd never seen him shed tears before.And V—I started to believe I was getting the old version of her back, as she seemed so fragile.He begged for my forgiveness.But there was nothing to forgive; he was unaware of the situation.His assumptions were just a part of being human and imperfect.
In that moment, it felt as if a heavy weight had dropped from my fucking shoulders.There was a glimmer of hope that I could get my family back.A hope that I could love Luna without the fear of causing her pain.A hope that things could turn around for the better.Hope…
April 6th
I surrender.She is holding my heart; there was no other option.I gave her the way out; I tried.I swear I tried, but she didn't take it.
The kiss in that alley in Florence meant something greater than me.
Something I couldn't even understand…
I.Love.Her.
April 15th
Telling her it was the best night of my life is not enough.
Telling her I love her more than my own life is not enough.
Telling her I want to spend my whole life with her is simply not enough.A thousand fucking lifetimes wouldn't be enough.
God… Am I crossing the edge of my sanity?
All of this is just physically impossible to understand.Fucking impossible.She has filled the emptiness I've carried since birth, revealing a sense of wholeness I never knew I could have.I would tie our bones together if that were possible.I would braid our souls if we really have one.I would offer my life on a silver platter just to see her happy.I would do anything for her.Although I can see it.It's starting; the darkness is just behind us and sooner or later will swallow us both.
But I vow to do everything within my power to protect her.
Chapter 46
When you stop hoping, you slowly start to die.I had heard that in a song once, and it had resonated deeply within me.At that moment, I found myself devoid of hope.The anguish I carried felt like a relentless illness, decaying me from the inside out, both physically and mentally.Life would never return to what it once was.Zane was gone.
I scrolled through countless pages, only glancing at a few, but what I read intensified my sorrow.I shut it down; I couldn't bear it any longer.The memories flooded back.I remembered the boy on the beach, the one I playfully called “dummy,” and how he laughed in response.The tears came crashing down.
I spent the night wide awake, unable to find peace.My eyes were puffy from crying, and as the clock struck 6 AM, the morning sickness hit me like a wave.I hurried to the bathroom, feeling as if I might lose my insides.
A knock interrupted the chaos.
“Are you alright?”it was V’s voice.
“Yes, I'm fine.Just a moment.”I splashed cold water on my face, hoping it would help, but it did little to improve my appearance.When I opened the door, V studied me for a moment before taking my hand and leading me to Zane’s room, closing the door behind us.
We stood there, locked in a momentary silence, until she finally spoke.
“I'm guessing you read the diary?”she asked, her gaze landing on the book on the nightstand.
“I didn't read all of it,” I confessed, a lump forming in my throat.“Did you read it?The whole thing?”I inquired.
“I didn't need to; we talked a lot.He shared everything with me,” she replied.“Listen, I know about your situation,” V said, pointing at my stomach, “but my dad doesn't.It's not really my place to say anything…” she hesitated.
