Without saying another word, I picked up all but three blankets from my bed and placed them back on Ashley’s furs.
“Axon.” It was her turn to mumble my name like a curse. “You’re not being reasonable.”
She grabbed the top five blankets again and started walking toward my bed. I didn’t let her get very far this time. I grabbed the blankets and tuggedthem out of her hands.
“I am being reasonable. You deserve to have a comfortable bed.”
“I do have a comfortable bed. I’ve got fifteen blankets over there for Christ’s sake.”
“That’s not enough!” I shouted.
“Why is this so important to you?” Ashley yelled back.
“Because I’ve failed you. Over and over again, I’ve failed you and caused you pain. Please,” I begged. “Please, let me provide you some comfort, even if it’s just a pile of blankets. I’m desperate to do just one thing right.”
I didn’t mean for my words to spill out like they did, but there they were, and there was no taking them back.
“You’ve never caused me pain.” Ashley couldn’t look me in the eye because she knew her statement wasn’t true.
“Maybe not physically, but I know a broken heart when I see one.” I bit out.
I took a step closer to her. From the moment I met her, I’d felt drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, and yet, like some cruel joke, I could never touch her. Never fully close that gap between us.
“I...I miss talking to you, Ashley. We used to share meals together and walk in the clearing as the sun went down, but now you won’t even look at me. I know I don’t deserve it, but please, just give me achance to explain.”
“Explain what, Axon?” Her words came out harsh and angry. “Explain how my touch disgusts you? No thanks.”
Ashley turned and walked to her bed. She laid down on the blankets, and I could hear her soft whimpers as she tried not to cry.
My sire was right. I should have told her the truth a long time ago. No wonder she didn’t even look at me anymore. She thought I hated her touch and nothing could be further from the truth.
I quietly walked to her side and sat down on the floor behind her so she could keep her back to me if she wished.
“Ashley, your touch doesn’t disgust me. Your touch...it’s hard to explain. It’s like everything that’s good about life being funneled onto my skin all at once. It’s marvelous at first, but it quickly becomes overwhelming. Your touch is like fire. It provides light and warmth, but when I get too close, I get burned.”
Ashley said nothing for a long moment. Then she sat up and wiped the tears from her face.
“You really mean that? You aren’t just saying that to make me feel better?”
“I really mean that. Your touch has never disgusted me. Your touch is amazing. I just can’t receive it.”
I looked down at my hands that itched to tuck her hair behind her ear and wipe the tears from her face, but I couldn’t do either of those things. Whichwas why providing her comfort in other ways had become so important to me. Now that we were finally in the same room together and talking, I wanted things to go right, even if I couldn’t give her the one thing we both wanted.
“Is it like that when you touch other people or when they touch you?” Her voice was watery and now she had hiccups. She was so cute. I loved every little sound that she made.
“No, just you.”
Ashley let out a huff of disappointment. “Of course it is.”
I inched closer to her and, as an automatic reflex, Ashley scooted back.
“Oh.” her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about our situation.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she began, and I understood her meaning. She didn’t want to bring me pain by touching me or emotional pain by staying away.
I set my hand down next to hers so our pinkys were almost touching and she didn’t move away this time.
“This is nice,” I suggested. “I like being close to you.”
