I shook my head in an attempt to get rid of these thoughts. I could want these things all day long, but I would never have them. Not as long as I couldn’t even touch Ashley or handle being touched by her.
“You sure do have a lot of supplies in here.” Ashley commented as she looked at the rows of supply baskets I had sitting against the wall.
“Oh yeah,” I nervously run my hand through my hair. Other than my parents, Ashley was the first visitor I’d had. No one in the dekes knew exactly how often I sought refuge in my cave. I often toldmy brother shifters that I was out hunting, when in reality, I left the mountain just to come here. I loved my dekes, but they were loud, and the cook fire was bright, and sometimes the silent cave that was built wasn’t enough.
“I find the mountain overwhelming more often than I’d like, and when I do, I come here until the headaches stop,” I explained.
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was so severe.” Ashley looked downcast, and I didn’t like it. I’ve made her sad enough over these past few months.
“That’s good. That’s my goal, actually.” I rushed out my words. “I don’t want people to notice that I’m...suffering.”
Ashley nodded her head in understanding. “Me too. That’s why I left. I couldn’t take everyone asking me if I was okay. I’m not okay, but it’s not a problem anyone can fix for me. I have to figure it out myself.”
I didn’t like the idea of Ashley suffering alone. As long as she was here with me, I wanted to help shoulder her burdens.
“Just because no one can fix it for you doesn’t mean no one can help,” I suggested.
Ashley shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her food. “I guess that could be true.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, feeling hopeful that maybe I could bring some value to Ashley’s life instead of just sadness.
“Not right now.”
Not right nowwasn’t a no, it wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no. There was hope.
“Well, I’m here if you want someone to talk to,” I assured her.
“Thanks,” Ashley gave me a weak smile.
We returned to our dinner in silence.
Once we were done eating, I grabbed all but three of the furs from my own bed and laid them out for Ashley near the fire. If nothing else, I knew I could provide her with comfort while she stayed in my moon cave.
“Axon, this is a lot of blankets. Did you leave any for yourself?” She toyed with the top fur by pulling the pelt through her fingers.
“I’ve got a few.” I pointed to my bed on the other side of the cave. Ashley squinted her eyes and then walked over to my furs.
“You’ve given me about twenty furs and only kept three for yourself.” She stood with her hand on her hip, which meant she was going to be stubborn about this.
She always put her hand on her hip before she got into a debate with the other hu-mans.
“It’s fine. Three is more than plenty for me.” I matched her stance by putting a hand on my hip as well. I needed to show her I was serious about her comfort.
“Axon, I distinctly remember you having five furs in your pack that first night we met, when youand Lumod stayed in that cave with Hai and I. So I know even when you’re out hunting, you sleep on five blankets, not three.”
“I,” she had me there. I’d never forget that night for as long as I lived. The first time I laid eyes on Ashely, she took my breath away. She looked so soft and strong and happy. Her eyes twinkled with joy and her smile was radiant.
“Three is fine, I promise.” I tried again to persuade her, but she was already gathering five furs from the stack I’d given her. She returned to lightly place the furs on my bed.
“Ashley,” I muttered her name in aggravation. “I-”
She held up her hand. “I do not need twenty blankets, Axon, and you should have more than three.”
“I-”
“It’s not up for discussion.” She interrupted me again.
“Fine, I won’t discuss it then,” I growled.
