“Declan.”
I resisted the urge to bend the entire deck in half. We weren't doing this. We weren't ruining what we had just shared with her stupid human assumptions. Maybe human males weren't virgins at a hundred years old, but saving yourself for your mate was perfectly normal here.
“Five whispers make a wood.”
She blushed at the word ‘wood’ and at least we were somewhat even.
Fallon let me teach her the game, though she turned grumpy at the subject change. We passed the whole day in the temple. Her shoulders finally fell from her ears. Fallon let her bare foot wag back and forth as she concentrated on her cards. Her eyes fully relaxed for once as we ate, napped, played cards, filling me with her presence. Fallon’s undivided attention was a heady thing. A happy hum thrummed along the strengthened bond. I didn't touch it a second time, afraid the guarded look in her eyes would end anything before it began. That didn't stop me from thinking about it as the sun dipped below the horizon again.
“Are you cheating?” I asked her playfully. I knew Fallon would be good at this.
She spread her winning hand over the blanket, shifting her weight to her other hip. “If only I had this kind of control over everything, I would be a rich and happy woman.”
“Is that your true desire?” Because I wanted her completely out of control.
She shrugged. “You can see the benefits.” Her hands gestured to all her tallied wins scratched in the dirt. Although she said it as a joke, I could hear the ring of truth in it so I answered honestly.
“You can put down that worry. Not a singleone of us should be in control all the time. Chasing that, Honey, only leads to sorrow and ruin.”
She scoffed in a way that spoke of deep pain and adjusted her hips again. “You have ultimate control over your body. You can shift it into a whole new thing.”
She looked away. I don't know if Fallon meant to give me a clue as to what was wrong. The need to protect her wound me up, sharpening my attention to the fact she set her cards down to cradle her left hand.
“Even our line, as old as it is, can't ultimately control our wolves, especially when the Old Magic gets involved. Going Ajak was a real problem when we first settled here, before the Old Magic granted us mates.”
“I might be ready for you to explain what that is now.” Fallon stretched her back and winced.
“Some turn into a terrible monster, full of rage and sorrow and endless hunger. It lives in us all.” No one had turned Ajak in thousands of years when our mates brought balance.
“I’ve seen a lot of monsters come through my kitchen and none have ever been truly irredeemable. You’re just…”
Her words slowed down until they stopped. A change came over her face as it went frighteningly blank. I scrambled to her side.
“Honey?” Afraid to touch her, I hovered.
She startled as if she hadn’t seen me move. “I’m sorry… what? Stop talking?”
Her sentence fragment shoved ice into my veins. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”
I braced for another lie, my heart stopping in my chest. My hand floated over her skin, needing the contact.
“Tired.”
That was true, but not wholly true. The bond at least let me sense that.
“Who can you trust if not your best friend?” I forced it light, even when my heart sank into fear.
“Nothing to do, Dec. Useless to talk about. Besides…” She trailed off again and I waited patiently for her to find her way. I just wasn't prepared for, “We're not really friends anymore.”
My heart crashed to the floor. “We're not?”
“I don't know what this is, but it's not friends.”
The urge to reach for her boiled my blood. Her scent filled my nose to the point of madness.
Her voice grew soft. “We're not friends anymore. We’re…”
She kept saying it like she were stuck in a loop, trying to find the missing answer, but it got smoother and warmer each time. I wanted to pant. A spark of hope ignited within me. Something had shifted with all this pretending. Still, Honey wasn't right. That meant I needed to get my girl home.
