“We need to go-”
“Can we leave?”
We stumbled over each other and smiled at our accord.
Chapter 12
Fallon
It didn't matter that a blasphemous Godd was shoving a cloak pin into my heel. It would pass. The pain had to pass. After a quick swig of the emergency potion I kept in my pocket, I insisted on walking down the mountain because I had to prove to myself I was fine. There was nothing out of the ordinary when you just came all over your best friend’s temple without him touching you. Disbelief lingered even as the brain fog hovered. The pain eased a bit. The fog parted long enough for me to recognize that I had reached my limit, closing over my head again to make me stumble in the snow. I hated this most of all. The lack of control over my mind, the mistakes it made for me.
Declan buried his furry body in the drift, scooping right between my legs until I sat on his shoulders.
“I can walk.”
You can, but we’re going to get there at midnight and I’m cold.
I didn’t want to be selfish if the wind was too bitter. “For you,” I said, keeping my grumble to myself.
But he didn’t feel cold. His soft fur radiated heat that helped the ache of sitting on that stone floor for too long, after my bones had melted to jelly and struggled to restructure themselves. I wouldn't lie to myself and say what occurred in the cave, no matter how it happened, wasn’t the hottest non-sex I’d ever had. Or that lying against him didn’t settle something just right, but Declan’s confession also made me feel like I took advantage. Which was crazy because he was a grown-ass adult, but I watched others abuse his good nature to the point the Brothers of Zophiel virtually held him prisoner. I wouldn’t exploit him.
I needed to remember this was a fake mating, that Declan proposed out of the goodness of his heart. His virgin heart. That happened to turn me into a quivering mess. It didn’t matter. My body wasn’t cooperating with existence anyway. I just needed to go to sleep and it would hopefully reset tomorrow.
Declan padded back into the house to a chorus of nosy siblings who wanted to know every detail of what happened at the temple. He shifted to take their questions, subtly placing himself between them and me. My brain panicked as the fog rolled back in, making everything move in slow motion. I think I squeezed Declan’swrist hard enough to rub bones together. His smile was the only thing that penetrated the haze. I hated not being able to defend myself.
Declan deftly threaded through the conversation, managing to make it sound interesting, but leaving out every drop of the intimate moment we shared. It was still too much. I needed to sleep. Without thinking, I stumbled to his room, searching for my remaining belongings. My temper spiked as I hunted for something to sleep in. Where was it?
“What are you looking for?”
I startled as I got an eyeful of hard flesh and snapped my gaze back down to my bag. Overwhelm boiled my anger.
“I nearly fell off a cliff. Destroyed your… h-house. I can't see you naked right now.”
He pranced over to the other side of his room, swirling the window curtain around himself.
“I’m decent for your sudden human modesty.” In my own room, he didn't add. I heard it anyway. “This has never been a problem before. If you’re going to sleep here, you're going to have to make friends with my dick because he exists just like the rest of me.”
Apparently, he didn’t need it to make me a mess.
“Oh, am I? What, are we supposed to shake hands? I should just sleep somewhere else.”
“Momma’s already suspicious you wanted to sleep apart from me. I wouldn’t push your luck if youwant her to continue. Besides, acquainting each other with our bodies is perfectly normal in the shifter world. A downright friendly thing to do, even. You just have to catch up with the rest of us since you didn’t grow up here.”
That was just ridiculous. But then, no more ridiculous than getting off without touching each other. I couldn’t navigate our complex relationship at the moment, so something stupid popped out of my mouth.
At the end of my tether, I shouted, “Well, go on. Show it to me then!”
He let the curtain slip, hands going to the cut of his trim hips in an automatic gesture.
I let myself look. Really see this time. A puff of air ghosted my lips. My mind suddenly became crystal-clear and looped on the thing in front of me. The longer I didn’t say anything, the harder he got. My hands knotted in my lap. How was I supposed to sleep with that next to me? My heart rate picked up in alarm. Was running out of the room screaming an option?
Declan’s voice came out watery. “You can just say if it’s ugly or small.”
“Sm-small?”
What would that thing possibly fit into? Because it couldn’t be me. He stepped closer in a haze of my scattered thoughts.
“You’ve seen it before.”
