The scent of salt and nectarines lingers on Birdy’s hair. She must have just come from Hadria. Reporting to the so-called Emperor? Orvisiting him?
She sinks her nails into my forearm, holding on as if for dear life. “You don’t know everything, as much as you’d like to think so.”
“I know this is what I have to do.”
Birdy turns in my arms so she’s facing me. A few leaves tremble from the tree and adorn her dark hair.
“So, are you going to tell your new friends my plan, then?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell Mother mine?”
We stare at each other for a long moment. Then she sighs. “Let the best child win, I suppose. I’ll keep your secret, and you keep mine.”
“Deal. You’re playing a dangerous game. You can’t pull this off forever.”
“I don’t need to do it forever. Just until the Summer Realm is mine.”
An uneasy alliance with my sister. Another secret to keep from Rosalina. Oh well. She’ll figure it out soon enough. “We’ll both be traitors to Mother in our own way.”
Birdy looks out over the Briar. “She wouldn’t expect anything less.”
I drink her in for a moment. No army, no armor, no swords. Just a girl in the sunlight.
“You should go,” she says. “You don’t want your little friends to see you with me.”
I turn, unable to say the words I wish I could.Goodbye, little sister. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do right by you.
“Caspian?”
I look back. “Hmm?”
Birdy doesn’t meet my gaze. Instead, she wrings her hands in her skirt. “Are you still in love with the Winter Prince?”
“Unfortunately.”
She looks down. “What does it feel like?”
A breeze rustles through my hair. I cast a gaze to the side of Castletree that houses the Winter Wing, the wood blue with frost. “It’s like being stuck in the eye of a storm you can’t escape. It’s suffocating, consuming. It’s waking up every day with a weight on your chest, wondering if today will be the day it crushes you entirely. Love is continuing to drink poison because it’s also the only antidote. For me, it is a battle that if he wins, I lose, and if I win, somehow, I still lose. Love is the only reason I still choose to draw breath.”
Birdy is silent and still. “Oh,” she finally says. “I was afraid you’d say something like that.”
I stay there watching her in the dying light for a moment more, hating the world for turning my sister into a monster. Hating the world for making her fall in love with one.
CHAPTER 29
Rosalina
“You should really eat something, Rose,” Keldarion says.
“I’m not hungry.” I burrow my face into the crook of his neck.
I’m sitting on his lap in the dining room, a table of food spread before us: steaming potato leek soup, crusty rolls, a crisp salad with tomatoes, olives, cucumber, and passionfruit tarts for dessert. As delicious as it all looks, my stomach is still in knots.This whole time you knew. You knew who I was, knew where my mother was being held.
There’s no response in my mind. Good. I don’t want to talk to Caspian anyway.
“Just a few bites,” Keldarion urges.
Reluctantly, I reach for one of the passionfruit tarts and nibble on the crust.
