She quickly wipes the edges of her eyes.Has she been … crying?“You’re right. I don’t believe you. I know how things work for people like us, Cas. We look out for ourselves. We have to.”
I smooth a wrinkle in my pant leg. “I’m going to look out for you. We’re family.”
She scoffs and shakes her head. “We’refamily? What, you want us to act like the little, perfect, happy family they’re pretending to be in there?” She gestures down, toward the castle. “They make mesick. Imagine giving someone that much control over your life!”
“I don’t think it’s so much giving control to one another but trusting in someone else. Having faith that someone will do right by you—”
“Listen to yourself!” Birdy stands and glares down at me. “What, next you’ll be telling me you want to join their delusional little cult.”
I jump to my feet. With Castletree’s branches and the Briars in the distance, Birdy is bordered by dark beauty. Her short hair whips in the breeze, and that mouth I rarely get to see is set in a frown. I wish more than ever I could see it in a genuine smile. “Birdy.”
She takes in a breath. “No, Cas. Don’t say it.”
“Birdy.”
Tears fill her eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re joining them.”
“I’ve only ever stayed for you, Birdy. You know that. I would have run away twenty-five years ago if it weren’t for you.”
She grabs my shirt jacket and wrings her hands around it, voice a broken rasp. “Fine! Then run! Just don’t join them, Cas, don’t do it.” She buries her head in my chest. “Don’t make me kill you.”
I wrap my arms around my sister’s back and hold her tight to me. “I have to do this. You know what will happen to me if I don’t. Sira will bring about the destruction of everything we know, and I’ll be the blade she uses to do it.”
“Better to go down in flames than to submit,” Birdy growls to my chest.
I close my eyes, pain striking my heart. Still, after everything Sira’s done to her, she won’t accept that she’s always been a tool.
“Come with me,” I whisper.
Birdy pulls back. “What?”
“Leave Sira. Put away the Nightingale and forget about your plots. I’ll keep you safe. You don’t need Mother or your metal dog. I’ll look out for you, I promise—”
“Ugh!” She shoves away from me and stalks to the very edge of the branch, right where it starts to thin. “Stop it. Just shut up, okay? It’s so great for you that this little crew of rabid idiots accepts you. Where would I go? Do you think they’d just open up a room for me in this creepy zoo? ‘Oh, great, let’s let the Nightingale stay!’ No! I’d be thrown out again.”
“I would never leave you—” I reach for her, but she tears out of my grip.
Pink light shines across her nose, and as she stares up at me, she looks so much like she did as a little girl, forced to grow up in the dark. “You’re leaving me right now.”
A sharp pang pierces through my chest. Everything I’ve done, all the secrets I’ve kept, has been to protect her. My sister, who didn’t deserve to be beaten and screamed at and abused in the depths throughout her life. My sister, who loves glittery things and accidentally snorts when she laughs but can also slit a man’s throat without a single thought. My sister, who’s never understood just how loved she is.
“Come with me,” I say again. “Help me rescue Queen Aurelia.”
Birdy practically hisses, then curls away, hugging herself and shaking. “How could you do that? You’re abandoning me. It’s all happening again.”
“Birdy,” I whisper, my own voice broken with a sob. Anguish wells up inside of me, mingling with a profound sense of betrayal. But I know I have to do this. Farron is right.
Either choice is suicide. At least this option gives Rosalina a chance. Gives Birdy a chance.
Light-footed, I walk out on the edge of the branch and wrap my arms around her. She sobs loudly, desperately. There’s nothing I can do but hold her.
“We don’t know the truth about the Queen,” I whisper.
Birdy takes a steadying breath. “I don’t care, Cas. Even if I wanted to join you, I couldn’t.”
“That’s your fear talking.” I narrow my eyes. What ties her to the Below? She doesn’t have the sickness like me. Loyalty to my mother, of course, but it’s something else. Something deeper.
Kairyn?
