“Have you guys ever thought about having kids? Legit question. Wouldn’t solve the poly problem at all, but you seem like one hell of a nurturer.”
“We have and we might one day. For now, things are the way they are.”
“Okay. Go on.”
“I feel like I have so much in me, like it’s a physical thing in my chest and I have no idea where to put it. That’s why submission is so important to me and why it works so well with Shaw. He helps me burn off that excess energy.”
She stares at me, her eyes narrowing. I’ve seen this look once before, that night in the hotel. She’s trying to do the mental math on me. “But you can’t just give this love out to anyone.”
“I mean, I guess I could, but who likes having their heart stepped on?”
“Wow. That’s—I’m trying to picture what that feels like. I want—I think I want one person, like just one person to be strong enough to hold me together when I can’t do it myself. It seems impossible to find that. I can’t imagine having the energy to spread what I feel inside around to more than one person. But I think that’s because I’ve never really been loved.”
I want to say to her,Let me love you Brooklyn. I have this here for you. Let me give it until you can’t stand it anymore, but as the thought passes through my mind, so does Corrine’s face and the same thought I’ve had since Shaw’s confession in the hotel room. That Corrine may have been overwhelmed by us. That she may have been overwhelmed by me. She’d needed a break, time to be involved with just one man and not two containing the power of ten. And she’d found that relief, that lack of pressure in another woman’s fiancé. I won’t do that to Brooklyn now. I won’t put my needs in her lap and chase her away.
“We don’t have to talk about this. I know you said no ex talk,” I say.
“No, that’s not it. Let me just put on some clothes and check in with my sister. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“I’m right behind you.” I follow Brooklyn upstairs and head into my spare bedroom. I wash my face and lotion up before I head out to the workshop to check on Shaw. I turn right the fuck back around when I hear him shouting from the driveway. Someone’s fucked up real bad. I busy myself in the kitchen and wait for Brooklyn to finish getting dressed. She comes back in a pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt. She looks fresh, but tired.
“You want to watch a movie? Shaw’s still on the phone.”
“Yeah, sure.”
We set up in the den and she takes her time going through the available movies on our streaming service. “Who was watchingPhantom of the Opera?”
“Shaw. He’s big into musicals.”
“Oh really?” she says with a smile. “Let’s watch that.” She hits play, then settles back against me. I pull her close and toss a blanket over her legs. When Shaw comes back into the house twenty minutes later, she’s dead asleep.
* * *
Shaw
I still want to punch someone, but the music of the night soothes me as I walk into the house. I come into the den, ready to belt out the final chords, but catch myself before I wake Brooklyn.
“Shit, sorry,” I whisper, easing into the room. I take a seat beside Vaughn and look over at her. She’s still knocked out.
I won't lie and say shit hasn’t been a little tense between Vaughn and I the last few months. He knows I love him and I’m trying not to fuck things up between us even more. But I didn’t know not having Corrine around would be this tough, in this way. I’m glad Brook’s here and it’s selfish. For a lot of reasons, but mostly because of the way she is with Vaughn. Shit’s new and temporary as fuck, but I can tell she likes him and she makes him smile. I think we need some of that if only for a weekend.
“How’s it going?” I ask him as I look at Brook’s beautiful face.
“Okay.”
“Just okay? What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you later. What happened with the table?”
“Nothing. Fucking nothing. They left the leaf on the truck and the client was pissed ’cause they put it together and it was, like, four feet too small. I had to talk them down and then it took forty minutes for them to get their video chat together so they could show me the fucking thing and then it took them another fifteen minutes to find the leaf. Everything is good now. I’d be real pissed if it was my guys, but the client hired them so it’s their choice if they want to use them again.”
“Glad it’s sorted out. What time do you want dinner?”
“We can just order pizza. Tell me what happened.”
I watch as Vaughn’s long fingers ease over Brooklyn’s shoulders. Something in her face twitches and I realize she’s not really in a deep sleep.
“Hold that thought.” I stand up, go to the other end of the couch and lift Brook’s feet. Setting them in my lap, I lightly take hold of her big toe.
