“Yes,” Brooklyn nods. “But before we go there, there are just a couple things I need this weekend.”
“Of course. Go ahead. “
“Well first, thank you so much for inviting me. Seriously, I love your house. I hope I get to see your workshop and I secretly hope you’ll teach me how to whittle.”
I almost choke on my iced tea as Shaw cracks a slight smile. “I can show you some basic carving tricks.”
“Yassss,” she whispers. “Second thing. I don’t know where you guys are emotionally, but I don’t want to talk about Josh. I’ve done a lot of work there and I just can’t with ghosts-Josh’s-past working their way into every moment. I get to feel my feelings, but bringing him into my present and my future does absolutely nothing for me.”
“We don’t have to talk about what happened, unless you need to,” Shaw says.
“Intense sexual activity sometimes brings up intense emotions. We don’t want you to force yourself not to talk about Josh if you need to,” I add. “We’ve been intimate with each other, but haven’t been with a third person since—before. I don’t know how that is going to make me feel and I want to be able to talk about it if I need to. That’s part of aftercare.”
“Right. I read a little about aftercare. You think I’ll need it?”
“It’s required,” Shaw says. “Even if we just slow dance and watch a movie. You’re gonna feel some type of way about it afterward. It would be very bad for me—for us to tell you to fuck off to bed without seeing how you’re doing emotionally or physically.”
“You could strain your neck just looking up at me. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t make sure you were okay?” I say, messing with her a little. She smiles.
“That’s true. Okay, if I need to talk about him, I will. But, like, let’s not jump in with a ‘remember that time we were all cheated on and they both got murdered.’”
“Deal. What else?” Shaw asks.
Brooklyn looks at me then. “I told Shaw on the phone and I’m sure he told you that I need honesty. If you guys aren’t feeling me or if I’m not feeling you as we move along and get to know each other more, tell me. I can handle rejection. I don’t want to be lied to, even if you’re trying to protect my feelings.”
“I can agree to that and I hope you’ll do the same for us. Even if you’re the slightest bit uncomfortable, please tell us,” I say.
“I will. Okay. Let’s talk about this list.”
“So we modified this list to exclude our hard limit items,” Shaw says. “Things that Vaughn and I are absolutely not into and won’t experiment with.”
“Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Knife play. Blood play. Certain kinds of breath play. Certain bodily fluids.”
“Ah, yes. Okay.”
“Also, we like to push each other’s limits, but safety is very important. Even if you’re interested in certain things, that doesn’t mean you’ll feel safe doing them. Keep that in mind,” I say. “We always want you to feel safe. I like a good choking, but I don’t feel comfortable experimenting with electric shock.”
“Yeah, nope. Okay, let me see.” She takes a bite of her crab cakes then picks up the pen. I modified the list so she can select what kind of experience she has with different things.
“Just circle what you’d like to try. Or try again. Whatever the case is.”
“Jesus. I never really thought about how many ways there are to gag someone.” Her gaze slashes to Shaw. “Do you own a pair of manacles?”
“No, just leather cuffs, but we can order some.”
“Nah, I think that’s a little bit above my pay grade.” She flips to the last page and then back again. “Yeah, this is a lot.”
“You don’t have to rush through it,” Shaw says. “We’re just trying to get the ball rolling.”
“Sorry. My lawyer brain is taking over. I need to take this back to my team for a consult,” Brooklyn says.
“You can’t rush a lawyer when it comes to contracts,” I say with a chuckle.
“What’s a typical Saturday of bondage and sadism like for you guys?” she asks.
“It depends on what Vaughn needs,” Shaw says.
