Tyson gathered her into his arms. “Aw, honey. It’s okay.” It wasn’t okay. Not even close. But he wouldn’t guilt her for something she couldn’t help. That childhood wound had left her scarred. She’d always been clear about that. He’d known all along he was taking a chance.
Even now he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Although losing her would be a kind of pain he’d never faced. He kissed the top of her head. And while she gave in to her tears, his own eyes burned. How would he go back to the way it had been before?
But it wouldn’t even be that, would it? A friendship like they’d always shared wouldn’t be possible when he loved her this way. Being with her would be too painful. He would always want more.
And someday she’d find someone else. He’d have to stand by and pretend to be happy for her while jealousy slammed into his heart. Because he couldn’t even imagine these feelings for her fading away. Couldn’t imagine feeling only friendship for her. He’d been naive to think things could ever return to the way they were before.
He wasn’t only losing the woman he loved; he was losing the friend he’d always had. At the thought of letting go of her, his arms automatically tightened.
“I wish I could be as brave as you.” Jenna’s breath shuddered on the words.
He drew away, finding her eyes bloodshot and her lashes wet. “You had the courage to leave the island, go off and chase your dreams. A lot of people are too afraid to do that. I’m proud of you, Greene.”
Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t want to leavenow. I’m afraid things will never be the same between us. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Hey, you haven’t lost me. That’ll never happen.” He had no idea how he’d keep that promise, but he had to. He couldn’t see a life without Jenna in it. He thumbed away her tears, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. “Okay, let’s do this. Go back to Alexandria. Get settled in your new job. A little space, a little time might be just what we need.”
Every cell in his body refuted the thought. Space and time away from Jenna was the very last thing he wanted. But he was glad he’d suggested it when a little hope surfaced amid the despair in her eyes. “It’s going to be all right. It’ll get better.”
“You really think so?”
He tried for a smile. “I’ve loved you for years, Jenna. That’ll never change.” A fist tightened in his gut. Because now he wasinlove with her, and he was pretty sure he couldn’t reverse that.
“I love you too.”
He pressed a final kiss to her forehead. He wasn’t sure how she’d meant those words. But he had a terrible feeling it would be the last time he ever heard her say them.
Chapter 42
The buzz of an incoming phone call sent a jolt of hope through Jenna. She closed the microwave door and checked the screen. Upon seeing the image of her mother, the adrenaline surge came to a crashing halt.
She accepted the call and injected enthusiasm into her tone. “Hi, Mom.”
“How’s my baby girl doing?”
“Just great. Had a great first week on the job, and I’m about to watch the Braves game.”
“You’re loving your job so far?”
“It’s great!” Jenna rolled her eyes. Maybe she could saygreatone more time. “The people are nice and my boss is—terrific.” Of course this week had mostly been spent learning what was what, which was never a true indicator of what a job would really entail. But she was trying to be positive.
“I’m so glad to hear that. I’ve been praying for you.”
“I appreciate it.” Jenna settled at the kitchen island where she could eat and keep tabs on the game. She let her warmed-up leftovers cool for a minute. “What are you up to?”
“Oh, I have the game on too. Just got back from the grocery, and I’m making a batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies.” A lonely note lingered in Mom’s voice. She’d gotten used to baking for Gordon’ssweet tooth. But he was gone now. “I thought you might be going out somewhere fun to celebrate your first week on the job.”
That was a great idea. Except she was basically starting over when it came to friendships. It was a bit overwhelming. And heartbreaking, since she’d left all those close relationships on the island for this. “I had some laundry to catch up on.” Well, didn’t that just sound pathetic? “I do have plans Sunday with a new coworker, though.” She’d invited Jenna to church because yes, Jason had also gotten that in the split.
“That sounds wonderful. Just let me know when you’re ready for weekend company. I’ll come up and we can go on a shopping spree.”
“I’d love that.” Jenna paused as a Braves batter slugged a ball that went almost to the wall. Unfortunately it was caught by the center fielder.
“How are you doing otherwise, honey? You must be missing Tyson, hurting. I hate that for you.”
Jenna didn’t want to think about her heartache. She’d done everything she could to stay busy this week. And fortunately her new job made that easier. But the long weekend stretched ahead. “I’ll be fine, Mom. I just need some time and space.” She was clinging to Ty’s words, though she doubted it would be that simple.
Leaving the island had been so much harder this time. Back then she’d had her whole future ahead of her. Now she could only think of the future she was leaving behind.
