He spared her a look. “Don’t pretend my mom didn’t just give you a full report.”
“Okay, fine, she did.” Jenna sank beside him, careful not to jostle him, and too far away for his liking. “But I don’t like hearing your voice so hoarse.”
“It’ll get better in a few days.” He took her hand and found it cold, even though it must be ninety degrees out already. “You should be on the road by now.”
She averted her eyes. “You couldn’t think I’d leave you like this.”
“You heard the doctor. I’m fine. Just need to lay low a couple days, and you know Mom will watch me like an eagle. God forbid she let me return to work if I have so much as a flicker of a headache.”
“Nor should she.” That panic still cowered in the depths of her eyes. Infused her tone.
“I’ll be careful, Jen. I promise.”
“You’ve already been on your phone.”
“Just to text you. I turned it off.” He squeezed her hand. “You can’tmiss the first day of your new job. There’s no reason for that.” It took a lot to say those words when he only wanted to pull her into his arms and keep her here forever. Especially because she hadn’t willingly touched him since she’d walked in. Her hand lay lifelessly in his.
Ever since they’d grown closer she’d been so affectionate. So quick to grab his hand, touch his face, or press a kiss to his lips. She stared at him often, assessing him, studying him, admiring him. That she wasn’t doing any of that now, when he’d just come through an emergency, was telling.
The realization sent a cold shiver of fear up his spine.
She handed him the mug, not sparing him more than a glance. “Maybe so, but if you want me to stay, I will. I’m sure Nancy would understand under the circumstances.”
He sipped the tea, wishing he could swallow the terrible dread working its way up his throat. “I appreciate that, but I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to miss your first day.”
“If you’re sure. But I can still keep you company for a while.” She settled back on the sofa with her phone. “I can read to you if you want. I have a ton of e-books on here. Or I can download a suspense novel. Do you have the new David Baldacci book?”
Her expression, her posture made it obvious what was going on inside her: The accident had terrified her, and she was already withdrawing from him. She was done.
But she wouldn’t vocalize her feelings because he was healing. She’d wait until he had his strength back. The problem was, he couldn’t live with this uncertainty for days on end. And he didn’t want that for her either. They were only putting off the inevitable. He could see that quite clearly.
At the thought of her leaving him, a vise tightened around his heart, squeezing until his breath felt labored.
“It says right here it’s riveting, engrossing, totally captivating. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. What do you think?”
“Jenna.”
“Have you already read it? There’s always Ken Follett or Harlan Coben. Do they have anything new out? I know you liked the last Coben.”
“Jenna.”
He had her attention now. Her lips were parted, eyes questioning. Realization slowly settled in her features. Then a sadness crept into her eyes. And guilt. A heavy dose of guilt. His accident had scared her to death. She couldn’t face a future where he risked his life—and her heart—on a regular basis.
He could try to talk her into it. He might even succeed. But he had multiple calls a week. It would be a perpetual conflict between them. Continual anxiety for her. Constant guilt for him.
For the first time he wished he could surrender the part of himself that felt called to the fire company. But he’d known since he was little that he was made for this assignment. It was part of who he was. Giving it up would be like giving up a piece of himself, and that wouldn’t be right either.
Panic edged her eyes. She was petrified of the danger he faced. And after her father... how could he blame her? He loved her too much to put her through this day after day. He touched her cheek. “You don’t have to say it, Jen. It’s written all over your face.”
“What do you mean? I’m fine. Butyouwon’t be if you don’t finish your tea. Your mother was quite explicit in her instructions.”
He set the tea back on the table without taking a drink. “Look at me, Jenna.”
“What? I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay,” he said gently. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Your left eye is twitching like mad and your voice is all quivery...” He brushed a tear from her cheek. “And now you’re crying. Talk to me.”
Her mouth opened. But all that came out was a squeak. She closed her trembling lips as more tears followed.
