Mom’s expression softened. “You can take the whole batch for his family. Let me find a nice plate to put them on.”
Chapter 51
Maggie dashed from her car to the office building, clutching her coat against the blustery forty-degree evening. As usual she approached Harvest Counseling with mixed feelings and a pack of Kleenex.
She stepped inside the office, relieved to escape the cold but trepidatious about the upcoming session. Maggie had been meeting with Miss Allison weekly for three months now. The sessions were in equal parts painful and enlightening.
She was helping Maggie set boundaries—or at least attempt them—with her mother. Helping Maggie unpack the abandonment issues caused by her father’s sudden and permanent departure from her life—and exacerbated by the loss of her husband. Also, they were tackling the insecurities leveled upon her by her mother.
In short, Miss Allison had her work cut out for her, as did Maggie. But already she saw improvements. Setting boundaries hadn’t yet changed her mom’s behavior, but it did allow Maggie to draw a line in the sand and feel justified in following through with the consequences. It gave her some measure of control rather than allowing her mother to steamroll and disrespect her, which had only left Maggie feeling flustered and wounded. It remained to be seen whether the boundaries and consequences would effect achange in Mom. But Maggie already felt less encumbered by their interactions.
After she signed in she took a seat in the small lobby. She had a busy evening ahead with papers to grade and tomorrow’s lesson plan to review. She’d been more or less going through the motions at school. There were only two more days before Thanksgiving break, and she was anticipating it as much as her students were.
Another part of her dreaded the holiday. She was heading back to Seabrook for the first time since the meeting with Robyn. Maggie feared her feelings for Josh hadn’t waned. Seeing him would be difficult.
The door to the office opened and Miss Allison aimed a smile her way. “Hi, Maggie. Come on back.”
“Hello.”
Maggie followed the petite midforties woman down the short hall. She wore her red hair in short waves and dressed in colors that flattered her fair skin tone. Tonight she wore a moss-green sweater that matched her eyes.
Miss Allison ushered her into the office that always smelled pleasantly of a flower meadow due to the candles she burned.
Allison Brevard was a woman with keen eyes, excellent listening skills, and uncanny insight. Given all the sharing Maggie had done, she was pretty sure Miss Allison now knew more about her than anyone on the planet—perhaps more than Maggie herself.
It had been scary, making herself so vulnerable, but also incredibly helpful because the woman had a gift. And she was so very careful with Maggie’s feelings.
Miss Allison settled in her armchair and Maggie took her usual seat on the sofa.
After a few pleasantries the therapist dove right in. “Well, tell me how the past week has gone with your mother.”
“Much the same. She brought up Dr. Derrick again and I reminded her of the boundary. She got very angry and accused me of trying to control her. Then I told her if she was going to speak with disrespect I was going to hang up. So I did.”
“And since then?”
Maggie gave a mirthless grin. “She’s giving me the silent treatment.”
“And how are you dealing with that?”
“I’m trying not to let it bother me.”
Miss Allison encouraged Maggie and reminded her not to give in to her mother’s manipulations. To keep the big picture in mind instead of getting tangled in the weeds of her mother’s tactics.
After they covered that topic, the woman asked how Maggie’s homework had gone.
“Pretty good. I wrote seven pages.” She was journaling about her abandonment issues. Each week Miss Allison gave her a prompt and Maggie completed the homework. It was difficult work that often left her in tears, but it was also a safe outlet she’d found cathartic.
“That’s a lot. As you delved into your relationship with Ethan in light of your abandonment issues, did you discover anything new?”
“I already told you how difficult it was to trust him in the beginning. How insecure I felt. How much I feared being left behind. I realized as I was writing that I felt deserted when he left for college and again when he left for the military. Then of course when he died, I felt abandoned all over again—permanently this time.”
“That’s perfectly natural even for someone without those issues. But they would’ve hit you particularly hard.”
“When I was writing I remembered how Ethan would sometimes get annoyed with the way Josh and I were together.”
“What do you mean, ‘the way you were together’?”
“Well, not like Ethan was jealous or anything. I didn’t view Josh that way and I think Ethan knew that. But it was so easy being with Josh—and I think he sensed that.”
