Van had lived so much of his life believing he was tainted. No good for anyone, except maybe his team.
Even then, he hadn’t been able to prevent Hunter from dying that day. Like the others, he’d been pinned down, doing his best not to get his own ass shot by the enemy.
So no, he wasn’t the kind of man whose sins could bewiped clean. And he sure as hell wasn’t good for the kind of women his teammates had all been lucky to find.
He thought of Kam as he stood there, mentally berating himself. Convinced he wasn’t good enough for…
Her.
Van’s lungs chose that moment to come back to life, and he sucked in a breath until both organs were full. Blowing it out just as quickly, he looked at himself in the mirror. His chest heaved as desperation took over. An overwhelming need for an explanation as to why any of it mattered.
He didn’t like Kam. Not like that. Hell, until two days ago, he was convinced she was a killer.
But maybe that’s what drew him to her so completely. Maybe it was because they were one in the same.
The thought had no more entered his mind when he found himself vehemently shaking it clear. She wasn’t a killer. Not like they’d been led to believe.Not like me.
He’d bet his own life on that fact.
Kam was, however, a beautiful, strong-willed, intelligent woman who, for reasons he may never understand, had been dragged into the twisted plot against him and his team.
I’ll keep her safe.
It became his new mantra. No matter what else happened as far as the two of them were concerned, Van would do whatever it took to make sure the woman he’d left outside was protected.
You might wanna get your ass back out there, then. Don’t you think?
Cursing under his breath, he turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on his face. After a mediocre job of drying his skin with the hand towel he left crumpled on the edge of the sink, Van filled his lungs with a deep, cleansing breath before exiting the cramped space.
Relief eased the tension in his shoulders when he spotted her. Still standing in almost the exact same place where he’dleft her, Kam’s back was to him as she looked out over the incredible view.
Taking advantage of the stolen moment, he slowed his movements to buy him a little more time. Van soaked in the sight of her long legs and the way the capris cupped her heart-shaped ass. And that hair…
His fingers twitched with the urge to rake his fingers through the long, thick strands. To fill his fist with it as he tilted her head back and slammed his mouth to?—
“There you are.”
He blinked, realizing only then that she’d turned around to face him. Resuming his steps, Van walked the rest of the way, doing his damnedest to keep his expression schooled to avoid being called out for having been caught staring.
Staring? More like you were ogling the poor woman like a dog in heat.
With a quick clearing of his throat, he returned to the boat’s exterior helm. Rather than picking up the conversation where the two of them had left off, he decided it was time to change course.
“Grab a seat,” he told her. “I’ll take us out a little farther.”
If he was driving the boat, they wouldn’t have to talk. Because if they continued the conversation they’d been having moments before, Van was afraid he’d do something monumentally stupid, like blurting out the fact that he was really starting to like her.
Perhaps a little too much.
“Oh.” Kam’s assessing gaze held his for a beat. “Okay.”
She went to the bench where she’d been sitting before. Once he’d made sure she was settled in, he fired up the engine, slid the gearshift forward, and then…
He drove.
Van didn’t keep track of the time or the distance they were traveling. Truth be told, the farther from land they were, the safer he felt Kam would be.
He wasn’t worried about getting lost or struggling to find his way back to Elliott Bay. Having lived in Seattle for well over a year, he’d explored these waters enough to be confident in his ability to get them back home.
