"Rurik knew what he was getting into when he agreed to take you." Dimitri's voice softens slightly. "And my men are soldiers. They know the cost when they sign up to this war."
Guilt rides over me, making my stomach churn and my chest heavy. I can't undo what's been done or bring back those lives lost to this fight. And feeling sorry for myself won’t change any of this, either.
"Do you want to take a bath?" Dimitri asks, peeling back the blanket layers. "It might help you feel better."
"A bath sounds nice," I tell him, pulling my legs out from under the covers. "But I don't think I can walk very well right now."
"I'll help you." He moves to my side of the bed and offers his hand.
I take it and let him pull me to my feet. Pain shoots through my stomach when I stand, and I have to breathe through it for a second. Dimitri's arm goes around my waist immediately, and he supports most of my weight as we walk toward the bathroom.
I've taken a few showers here but never a bath, though the tub is ginormous and has built-in jets. Dimitri turns on the water and adjusts the temperature before adding something that makes bubbles form on the surface.
"I'll get you some wine." He starts to leave, but I catch his arm.
"Stay," I say softly, "please. I don't want to be alone right now."
He sighs and furrows his brow. "You need to rest."
"I can rest in the bath." I don't let go of his arm. "I just need you here with me."
His face says he's going to boss me around again, but I think we both know I've had enough of that. So when he says, "Let me get the wine first," I nod and sink to the edge of the tub, letting my fingers swirl in the bubbles as they rise.
He disappears into the bedroom and returns with a glass of red wine that he sets on the edge of the counter. Then he helps me pull the shirt over my head carefully so we don't disturb the bandages. I'm not wearing anything underneath, and normally, I'd feel self-conscious, but right now, I'm too exhausted to care.
Then he removes my shorts and panties, carefully helping me step out of them before he turns his attention on the bandages. I've been naked with this man before, but he's never been so respectful and reverent. It's obvious that what happened affected him as much as it did me.
He supports me as I step into the tub and lower myself into the hot water. The temperature stings at first, but then my muscles start to relax as my body and the wounds adjust to the water. I lean back against the side and close my eyes while the heat soaks into my bones.
"This is perfect." I reach for the wine glass and take a small sip. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He's still standing beside the tub watching me.
I open my eyes and look up at him. He's tense and guarded and holding himself like a soldier, not the man I've fallen for. It breaks my heart to see him like this.
"Get in with me." I set the wineglass back down. "The tub's big enough."
"Tatiana—"
"Please." I hold out my hand toward him. "After everything that's happened today, I just need you close. That's all. Just be here with me."
He looks at my outstretched hand for a long moment. Then he strips off his shirt and tosses it aside. His hands move to his belt, and I watch him undress as I take another sip of the wine and set it down. And when he's completely naked, he steps into the tub and settles behind me. His legs bracket mine and his chest presses against my back.
"Just hold me." I lean back against him. "That's all I need right now."
His arms wrap around my waist carefully, avoiding the abrasions, and his lips brush against my shoulder. I feel some of the tension leave his body, though I don't think he knows how to relax at all. We sit like that for several minutes quietly while I try to let go of my fear.
"I thought I'd lost you." His voice rumbles against my ear. "When I saw that car burning and Rurik was gone, I thought you were dead."
"I'm here." I turn my head up over my shoulder to look at him. "You didn't lose me, okay? You came for me just like you said." He kept his word, against all odds.
"I'll always come for you." His lips find my neck. "No matter where you are or what's happened. I'll find you."
The kiss makes warmth swirl in my chest. I shift in his arms and his hands tighten on my waist. His mouth moves up to my jawand then captures my lips, though it strains my neck. He kisses me softly, and I kiss him back until I know I want more.
I turn in the water until I'm facing him where my legs straddle his hips, and I can feel him already getting hard. His hands slide up my sides, and I wince slightly when he gets close to the scrapes. He pulls his hands back and stiffens, but I'm not slowing down now.
"I'm okay." I kiss him again. "I promise I'm okay."
