“Until I’m done findin’ what I want and need,” I respond without removing my eyes from the screens in front of me.
A police scanner I have on the edge of my desk sounds off and the address of the call is Taleah’s. I turn it up and listen to the complaint being given while tapping a few keys in front of me. Our company is the one who installed Taleah’s security system. I added a few upgrades to ensure her safety even if she has no clue I was involved at all. One of those upgrades were the cameras I can use to see what’s going on at her place.
What I see has my blood boiling. TJ is making out with three different girls on the couch while the room is crowded beyond capacity of people. There’s holes in the walls and the music is blaring so loud I mute the audio. I don’t need to know what’s being said as I take in the drugs littering the coffee table. Standing by the radio is Taleah. I watch as she turns off the stereo and all attention turns toward her. I don’t turn the audio on again because if I hear TJ say one horrible remark to her, I won’t be able to hold back any longer. I’ll ride to her house and deal with the bitch myself. Count takes a seat and watches with me as TJ gets in her face. They exchange some words and she has her phone in hand. I know she’s calling the cops.
We continue watching as the cops show up and greet TJ as friends. I know instantly nothing is going to be done about this situation. They’re going to take TJ’s side. Taleah shows them something on her phone before it’s handed back to her. Now, I turn the audio on and listen as the officer tells Taleah TJ has the right to be in the house and if anyone leaves the house, she can leave for the night. The second officer speaks up about them cooling off and thinking things through instead of ending her relationship with TJ. It’s a load of bullshit and I’m ready to beat the fuck out of the cops myself.
Taleah disappears and comes back several minutes later with a duffle bag I recognize from years ago. It’s the same one she used for cheerleading camp and when she would go to dancecompetitions. Bhodi’s name is stitched on the inside because he wanted to always have a piece of himself with her when he couldn’t be at her events because of football. I allow myself to smile the smallest one as I remember the day my best friend stitched his name in that bag.
“Who is this girl, Master?” Count finally asks me as I watch her leave her home with her head held high as if her heart isn’t breaking right now. Only I can see the tears she’s not allowing to fall fill her eyes and the shaking of her body. Signs I’ve witnessed hundreds of times when she’s tried to remain strong in a situation she wants to crumple to the ground in.
“This is Taleah. I’ve known her most of my life and loved her almost as long. She had a brother named Bhodi and he was my best friend. The four of us, includin’ my sister Elara, were inseparable growin’ up. Our parents worked for the same company and had high demand jobs that often took them out of town or forced them to work late. We kind of forged a bond and were constantly together. The girls came everywhere with us. I know everythin’ about that girl. I was her protector, friend, and her boyfriend when she was a sophomore and I was a senior. I never once treated her right when we were in public. Treated her as if she were nothin’ more than Bhodi’s little sister instead of my girl. I didn’t know how to make her mine in public without claimin’ every fuckin’ inch of her. So, I kept my distance and treated her like shit instead.
“Just after Bhodi and I graduated high school, we lost my grandma. She lived a long life and was my favorite person in the world. Her loss gutted me and shattered my heart into a million pieces. I started to push everyone away after that. Includin’ Bhodi and Taleah. Two weeks after I lost my grandma, we lost Bhodi. The three of them were at a party for summer break and I refused to go with them. Instead, I was sittin’ on the fifty yardline of the football field gettin’ wasted. I left them alone and the results are my own fault.
“That night, somethin’ happened with Taleah. Bhodi stepped up to protect her and he lost his life. He’d been drinkin’ and got pushed by the fucker he was fightin’. He slammed his head on the concrete outside the pool and drowned right in front of Taleah and my sister. Bhodi was datin’ my sister at the time and I was still with Taleah. Again, I don’t know what happened, but I know Taleah couldn’t save him because she can’t swim. No matter how hard the two of us tried to teach her, she just couldn’t grasp the concept. I fuckin’ lost my shit when I got the news a few hours after everythin’ happened. Elara went home with Taleah so they could comfort one another and be with Taleah’s parents. That’s where they were needed. My parents immediately caught a flight home to be with them while I remained hidden, watchin’ over everythin’.
“Taleah, my sister, and everyone else thinks I didn’t go to Bhodi’s funeral, but I was there. I watched on as Taleah gave the eulogy and broke down in tears so hard she could barely stand. Her words were full of the love she had for him as they came out a broken mess to pay tribute to the person she loved the most in the world. Every part of me wanted to go to her, but I broke the day Bhodi died. I pushed everyone away even more so I would never feel that pain again. To do that, I had to break Taleah completely,” I tell Count the bare minimum about Taleah and the past we shared.
“Fuck, Master. That’s a lot. You’ve been carryin’ that shit all on your own for all these years?” he asks me, his voice barely above a whisper as I let the memories of Taleah, my Doll, fill my head. “How come I’ve never met this sister of yours?”
“Because in pushin’ Taleah away the way I did, I lost my sister at the same time. I destroyed the two of them with onemove and it’s been a weight I carry every fuckin’ day since then,” I answer him while hitting a few keys on the keyboard in front of me and pulling out my phone to call the police supervisor so I can report the two fuckwads who showed up at her house today.
“Master, ya gotta fix that shit with your sister. I get where you’re comin’ from, but you’re never gonna be happy without your sister in your life. Just like I know you’ll never truly be happy without Taleah in your life. I know that’s the girl in the picture you carry on you at all times. The same one you had with you on every single deployment and kept close to your heart, only pulling it out when you thought no one was payin’ attention to you,” Count says as he picks up a notebook and takes a look at the notes I’ve been taking on TJ. “Man, this fucker sounds like a vile monster usin’ your girl.”
“He is usin’ her. Taleah has money. A lot of it from an inheritance and the rest from what she’s made since graduatin’ college and openin’ her bookstore. TJ has been stealin’ from her, cheatin’ with countless women, and usin’ all of her money for them. She broke up with him and kicked him out, but you saw how that shit ended tonight. The cops are his friends and didn’t do shit about the situation,” I state, finally looking away from the computer monitors in front of me.
“What are you gonna do about it?” he questions me, his voice louder than before as he sets the notebook back down again in front of him.
“Not much I can do about it, Count. Taleah has her own life and wouldn’t take kindly to knowin’ I’m this close to her. That’s how bad I shattered her. My sister hasn’t talked to me in seven years and I don’t see that shit changin’ anytime soon. I know she’s got two kids and is married to a good man. One who loves her and is faithful. Part of me knows she will always love Bhodi, but she’s chosen to move on with her life. Elara ispregnant again. I’ve never seen more than pictures of my niece and nephew. They’re adorable as hell. Elara is stubborn and won’t just let me call her up and say hi. That’s not who my sister is. Taleah is even worse. When she gets hurt, she’ll shut you out completely without a second thought. You don’t get another chance with her,” I tell my friend as I put the notebook on top of the files I’ve put together.
“Then how did this stupid fuck, TJ, get another chance with her?” Count asks me, a smirk on his face because he thinks he has the situation all figured out when he doesn’t know how horrible I was to her.
“You don’t understand, Count. When I pushed her away, I mean it when I say I shattered her. I was at a party and she showed up with my sister. I knew they were gonna be there that night and purposely showed up to end things for good. She saw another girl all over me. One of her biggest tormentors if I’m bein’ honest. I stood up with her in my arms and made it look like we were goin’ upstairs together. That I was gonna fuck the shit out of that girl when I had no intention of doin’ that. Taleah ran out in tears with my sister followin’ her. That was the last time I saw Taleah until a few days ago and the last time I talked to my sister,” I finally admit to Count as I turn to look at him.
Count remains silent for a few minutes. He simply looks at me without judgement while I wait for him to respond.
“When you fuck up, you do it big, don’t ya?” he finally asks me, his voice more serious than I’ve ever heard it before.
“I told you I wanted to push them both away,” I state and stand from my chair. Stretching out my body, I listen as it pops and cracks louder than normal because I’ve been in the same position for hours.
“I’d say you accomplished your mission. I’m here no matter what you need or want to do. I’ll help any way I can, Master. Now, go take a damn shower and get some sleep. There’s not much else you can do tonight. I’ll ride through town and see if I can find your girl, make sure she’s safe,” he says as we leave my room behind and I make my way upstairs while ignoring everyone around me.
Unlocking my door, I step inside and close it while locking it so no one can get inside. I value my privacy and no one is allowed in my room without permission. Especially the Feral Girls. Fucking vipers. Stripping out of my clothes, I toss them in the laundry basket before heading for my bathroom. I don’t bother waiting for the water to heat up once I turn it on and step under the cold spray. It sends a much-needed jolt through my body before slowly becoming warmer. I wash my hair before letting the hot water beat down on my sore muscles and loosening the tension from days sitting in basically one position while I stared at pictures of Taleah and learned more about her life. Details I don’t deserve to know any longer. By the time I’m done washing and rinsing my body, the exhaustion I’ve been pushing away for days is back in full force. I grab a towel and dry off before walking into my room naked. I climb into bed and fall asleep before I can cover up completely.
Chapter Four
Taleah
FOR THE LAST week I’ve been staying at the bookstore because I can’t get TJ out of my damn house. He refuses to leave and somehow whenever I call the cops to get him removed, it’s his friends who show up. The two fucks who tell me I need to cool off and calm down so I can move forward with TJ and not let whatever stupid shit he’s doing break us apart. They don’t realize I know the real reason is he wants the money he spends because he has none of his own. They are truly pathetic if they don’t believe I know TJ’s game by now. Every damn move he makes I know beforehand and have already countered it with moves of my own. Including cutting him off financially because that’s all he keeps me around for. Well, now I’m going to hit him where it really hurts. Last night I called and stopped all of his access to my bank accounts and stopped the cards he always used. They were secondary cards from my accounts and TJ has used them to fund his lifestyle and pay for anything his little fuck toys want. Expensive lunches, shopping sprees, vacations to exotic islands, all paid for with my money. That stops now.
The last thing I did before picking up a book and reading until I fell asleep was go through all of my accounts. I have one TJ can’t touch no matter how hard he tries. Several million dollars are in that one and is purely for donations to charities I help throughout the years and local families in need. I highlighted and wrote down every fucking transaction belonging to TJ. He thinks I can’t track it because his cards are all secondary ones on my accounts. The twatapotamus doesn’trealize each transaction has the last four digits of the card number. Once I have all of the transactions he’s made over the years, and there’s been hundreds of them, I make a spread sheet broken down into each card and month for every single year he’s had access to my accounts. The total shocks me so much I lean back on the couch and simply stare at the screen in front of me. I never realized how much TJ has stolen from me until this very minute. I’m a damn fool and deserve to be punished for how stupid I’ve been. Bhodi would have already beaten TJ to a pulp if he were still alive. I know my brother never would have liked him and I wouldn’t have given him a second look.
Waking up this morning, I feel lighter than I have in a very long time. The knowledge that TJ can no longer use me has freed part of my soul I didn’t realize was locked up tight. I’ve been such a damn fool for far too long and that shit ends now. After work I plan on going to the police station and filing a report against the two officers who refuse to get TJ out of my home and file for a restraining order against the stupid fuck who has used me for far too long. I’m not sure if I have enough evidence to get a restraining order against TJ, but I will do whatever I can to ensure he no longer bothers me. Including changing the locks on my home and upgrading my security system if at all possible. I don’t know about any of that shit, but I can call the security company in town who installed it and see if anything can be done to improve it. I also plan on upgrading the one here at the bookstore. My employees deserve to feel safe when they’re here and not feel as if they’re in danger because my personal life is a fucking dumpster fire of my own making.
Stretching my body, I move through the coffee shop and start the coffee machine. I don’t drink it, but I want the hot water for hot chocolate. I drink it randomly throughout the day while others drink coffee like it’s water. I’ve never been a fan ofcoffee and after having to taste it and compare brands over the years before I opened my shop, I went from one shop to the next across the country while I was on school breaks to taste various coffees and find the best ones to use in Fantasy Realm. Now, I never touch it and drink hot chocolate. It’s a drink Bhodi used to make for me when I was younger every winter. He would fill it with chocolate, mini marshmallows, and anything else he could think of to make each cup better than the last one. I don’t make it as good as he did, no one does, but I try every single time I have a cup.
Once the coffee station is up and running, I head for my office. I have a shower in there that’s truly come in handy over the last week while I’ve been staying here. No one knows this is where I sleep and I don’t give a shit if they realize the truth of my situation. I’ll come up with some lie about inventory or paperwork to explain why I’m here and not home. Grabbing my toiletries bag out of the duffle bag, I head in the bathroom and quickly take a shower so I can start the morning routine I have in place to open the store. I’ve put together a checklist in case I’m the one not opening each day, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’d rather open every day so my employees can sleep in. It’s not like we’re open late either so the few people I have working for me can still make plans for the end of the day and have lives unlike me.
