“A dead fish? Honey, if you knew what to do with your limp dick, I wouldn’t just lay there and pretend it feels good. I have to get myself off every fucking time I’m with you. Honey, you need better acting skills. TJ isn’t good enough for you to be shrieking like a damn banshee,” I state, my voice hard and cold now as TJ throws the girl off him and stands from the bed completely naked.
“This isn’t what it looks like, Tally,” he says, with no remorse on his face as he takes a step toward me before I hold up my hand to stop him.
“Really? I literally caught you getting fucked by a sorority bimbo in your bed, TJ. And just so you know, he can’t stand sorority girls. Says you're all a bunch of clueless bimbos who are only here to sink your claws into a rich guy to become a trophy wife. I’m not the only person he’s said that to. Andyou could really use some lessons on faking it when you’re with a guy who does nothing for you. TJ’s dick isn’t big enough to warrant what I heard when I walked in here. And he sure as hell isn’t good enough for screams that loud. You honestly sound like a banshee instead of someone sexy,” I say before turning my gaze back to TJ and holding my hand up to stop him from walking closer to me. “We’re done. Don’t contact me and stay away from me on campus. I’m not about to be cheated on by some asshole who compares me to a dead fish because he does nothing for me.”
“You can’t be serious, Tally. I’m drunk and fucked up. That doesn’t mean you should end our entire relationship,” he says, giving me that same puppy dog look that does absolutely nothing for me this time.
“I am ending our relationship, TJ. I deserve better than you’ve ever given me and I know what I’m worth. I’m not some stupid bitch who will take any pathetic piece of shit who gives her attention to be my man,” I tell him before turning and leaving the room and frat house.
I listen as TJ yells my name before he manages to put something on to run after me. Yeah, he chased after me that night and never caught up to me. I was out of the frat house and in my car before he could even put his pants on. I wish I could say that was the end of my relationship with TJ, but it wasn’t. I’m the dumbass who chose to take him back and was with him when he lost everything. That’s when things between us turned worse than I thought it would ever get.
“Bhodi, I have to go now. I’ve got to go to work so I can make money. I’ve put plans in place to prevent TJ from getting my money. Including the inheritance in my name. He’s not happy about it, but can’t do anything to change the situation,” I say, pressing my fingers against my lips before pressing themagainst the cool stone in front of me. “I love and miss you to the moon and back. I’ll be back in a few days, Big Brother.”
Standing from my seat on the grass, I brush off my jeans and give the headstone one last look before I turn and walk toward the parking lot where Bhodi’s motorcycle is parked. Rex and him got motorcycles on the same day. My brother got aSuzuki Hayabusaand had it wrapped in all black. There isn’t a speck of color on the bike. I’ve kept it all the same and ride it daily unless it’s raining out. Rex got aDucati Panigale V4that he wrapped completely red with no other color on the bike. His wrap is custom with skulls on the tank and his rims are also red. I’m not sure if he still has the bike and tell myself I don’t give a shit if he does or doesn’t. It’s not like I was ever on the bike with him.
Heading for the parking lot, it takes me a little bit to walk the distance. We buried Bhodi toward the back of the cemetery under a large tree. He always loved nature and where he’s buried is perfect. It’s not only under the large tree, but there’s a clear view of the sky and woods are a short distance behind his grave. Animals are constantly wandering out of the tree line. We talked about putting a bench there, but my parents decided not to. I won’t go against them so I sit on the ground whenever I come up here.
I wipe my tears away as I finally get to Bhodi’s bike and know I’ll have to redo my make-up once I get to work. Today is going to be a very long day. They always are when I’ve been here to see my brother. Still, I won’t ever stop coming here because I know I’m the only one who visits Bhodi’s final resting place. My parents haven’t come here since the day he was buried and Rex has never stepped foot here. Including the day Bhodi was buried. That’s the same day my heart turned to ice and I vowed to hate Rex for the rest of my life.
Chapter One
Master
TODAY HAS BEEN long as fuck. I’ve been at the ranch because we’re doing security for Roger, Annistyn’s cousin and the victims he protects as they seek treatment and get away from their biggest tormentors. This girl we’re there for is special to one of my club brothers so the job is personal for us all. What makes it so long when I’m here is because it gives me time to remember things I’d rather forget completely despite the knowledge that I’ll never be able to. These days I have nothing but time to think as I walk the perimeter of the ranch and remember how badly I fucked up and the ultimate price my best friend paid. Guilt is a heavy burden to carry and I’ve lived with it for seven years now. Almost eight because the anniversary of Bhodi’s death is coming up quicker than I’d like. He died a senseless death and one I could have prevented if I were there with him that night. It’s what led to me finally severing all ties with my past including the relationship I once had with my sister, Elara. I haven’t talked to her in seven years and it kills me to know we’re not as close as we once were.
Riding through town, I always take a specific route and no one knows the reason for it. Not even Count and he knows just about everything about me. Other than college, Taleah Winslow has never left Glendale. Once her family moved here, she decided to settle down and build her life here. I know why, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why she can’t leave this town—her brother is buried here and she won’t leave him behind. She has a store on Main Street and I ride past it at least once everysingle day just for a chance to get a glimpse of her. So far it hasn’t happened, but it doesn’t mean I don’t wish for it.
Taleah Winslow is the girl who stole my heart from the first second I met her. She owns me completely and never left my side no matter how I treated her. And I was a prick to her when we were younger. I never gave her the respect she deserved when we were surrounded by other people. I made it seem as if she were just my best friend’s younger sister instead of the love of my life. Taleah will always be the one who got away and it’s all my fault. I’m the one who broke her more than once and yet I still feel as if I deserve to get a glimpse of her when I don’t. She’s moved on and is living her life.
Slowing down as I ride past her shop, my heart stutters in my chest. Taleah is outside on the sidewalk in front of a man and she’s arguing with him. I can tell she is because she’s gesturing wildly and her face has a hint of red to her cheeks and down her neck. That’s how you know Taleah’s pissed as fuck. Pulling over, I quickly park my bike and climb off while removing my helmet but keeping my bandana tied around my lower face. I walk as close to the buildings next to me as possible so I remain in the shadows while creeping closer to Taleah so I can figure out if she needs help or not.
“Tally, why are you being this way? I told you I needed the money for a gift for you and you just cut me off completely. How fucking heartless can you be?” the guy screams, stepping closer to Taleah as she glares at him in return without a single hint of fear in her gaze.
“You claim you want to buy me a gift with my own money because you’re a lazy fuck who hasn’t worked a day in his life. Everything you have is because of me and the money I’ve spent on you. No, what you want this money for is the slut you’re currently fucking and are too stupid to realize I’ve knownabout her from the very first day you started cheating on me. Ialwaysknow when you’ve found your next victim, TJ,” she says, her voice calm and controlled as she continues to glare in his direction.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Tally. I love you,” this fucker says as he tries to pull her in his arms but Taleah doesn’t move an inch toward his embrace. “This is why I cheat on you constantly, Taleah. You’re a dead fucking fish who never wants me to touch you. I can’t tell you the last time we had sex or you sat in the same room with me. You don’t go out with me when friends call and invite us out. If anyone is to blame for me cheating on you, it’s you. A man has fucking needs and you don’t live up to expectations or anything else when it comes to sex.”
“You’re blaming me for your inability to keep your dick in your pants, TJ? Really? That’s so damn cliché and a typical response for your cheating. I’ve never once cheated on you because I’m a decent human. If you want to fuck everyone you come across, leave me. Move out of my house and go be with your little fuck toys,” Taleah says, her voice almost detached as she looks at the man in front of her. I think I’m being extremely generous calling him a man, but that’s just me.
“Yeah, it’s your fault, Tally. Who else would be at fault for me fucking around on you? And I won’tevermove out of the house. Everything you have belongs to me,” the asshole says as he steps up closer to my girl and my entire body goes taut with the need to step in and protect Taleah like I used to all those years ago.
I watch on as the asshole raises his hand toward her as his fingers clench into a fist. If this fucker thinks he’s about to lay hands on Taleah, he’ll soon learn what being in pain means. I have no problem getting into a fight. I’ve lost count of howmany times I’ve beaten the shit out of someone who thought they could hurt Taleah or Elara. It’s second nature to me at this point because nothing is more important than keeping the two of them safe.
Before I can make a move, a slap rings out in the open air. Taleah is pulling her hand back as the guy stumbles back a few steps. He’s clutching his cheek and I can see how rigid his body is now. If he even thinks about raising a hand toward Taleah again, I’ll beat the fuck out of him.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You actually hit me, Taleah. What the fuck has gotten into you?” the stupid fuck questions her, his voice hard and cold as he steps menacingly toward her again.
“I’m not kidding you, TJ. You raise your hand to me in anger and think I’m just gonna take that shit. I was raised with protectors who made sure I never had to fight when someone was being an asshole to me. However, since then, I’ve made sure I know how to protect myself and you won’teverlay a hand on me, TJ. Think you can and I’ll knock you on your ass every fucking time,” she says as pride fills me and I know she’s talking about Bhodi and me from years ago. Back to a time before everything became a complicated mess and I still had them in my life. “Now, get the fuck out of here. Unlike you, I have work to do. I don’t spend every damn day sitting on my ass doing nothing and using everyone around me because I’m a pathetic piece of shit. God! I don’t know what I ever saw in you to begin with.”
“You’re gonna regret this, Taleah. I can promise you that,” he returns before turning and stalking away from Taleah.
I continue watching from the shadows as Taleah drops her chin to her chest and her arms hang limply at her sides. Defeat fills her body and I want nothing more than to rush to herside and pull her into my arms like I used to so long ago when she was having a horrible day. Now, I don’t have that right to help her at all and it’s all my fault. So, I remain locked where I am and watch her silently.
Taleah takes a few deep breaths as she gathers herself. When she looks up, her eyes land on me, but I can tell she isn’t seeing anything in front of her clearly. In the past, when Taleah would become overwhelmed, she shut down and even with her eyes wide open, she never truly saw what was in front of her. It would take a while of someone comforting her before she finally came back to herself. I learned that from Bhodi early on in our friendship and gave it my own twist over the years as we got older and our relationship evolved. Elara is the only other person who understands this about Taleah and has also figured out ways to get her back to us when she’s needed us the most.
After a few minutes, Taleah pulls herself up so she’s standing tall and plasters the fake smile I’ve seen a hundred times over the years on her face. She turns without hesitation and makes her way back in her shop. The bell over the door sounds and it’s a mystical sound that makes me smile because it’s something purely Taleah. It looks like she fulfilled one of her biggest dreams of being a business owner and did it all on her own. Just like I always knew she would. Taleah has always had the ability to do everything on her own and never needed anyone at her side to accomplish her goals and dreams.
It takes me a few minutes before I turn and head back for my bike. Every part of me wants to go in the shop and see Taleah up close, but that would be pushing it. I know I don’t deserve to see her up close in any capacity. That ship has sailed and Taleah doesn’t need me in her life. She deserves someone so much fucking better than the asshole she’s with, but it won’t be me. I had my chance and fucked it up beyond repair. Taleah won’t everforgive me for what I did to her that fateful night that changed our lives. I lost everything that night and it hurt so much more than I thought it would.
