But as much as I wanted to not think about what he’d just told me and how it made me feel – angry at his mother, sad for him and touched that he’d told me – I felt I had to say, ‘Thank you for telling me what happened. I don’t know if it’ll help at all, but I have a scar too.’
‘You do?’ Brodie looked at me suspiciously.
I nodded. I pulled up my robe and lifted my leg, pointing to where there was a star-shaped scar just to the inside of my right knee.
Brodie sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling me onto his lap. He lifted my leg and inspected it closer. ‘How did you get this?’
‘Cal. He’d fashioned a kind of a spear thing out of wood. To try to catch fish in the lake. We were messing and he stabbed me in the knee by mistake. There was blood everywhere. Jamie thought it was hilarious, but poor Cal felt so bad. He was the older brother, he was meant to be watching us.’ I went on. ‘But I’m glad I have it now. It’s like a constant reminder of him and how much he loved us.’
‘He sounds like he was a really good guy. I’m sorry he’s gone.’
I nodded, surprised at the emotion when I said, ‘I’m sorry your scar makes you remember something awful.’
‘It’s OK. It’s in the past.’ Brodie cupped my face and kissed me. It was gentle and reverent. A comfort. And it freaked the hell out of me, so I deepened the kiss and turned it into something far more explicit.
He didn’t need to take the hint. He despatched our clothes with an efficiency that I didn’t want to think about too much because it spoke of practice. He lay down and pulled me over him, every part of our bodies touching, his cock between us, long and thick and hard.
I moved up and down with my body, teasing him. He grabbed my ass and squeezed it, and then pulled my thighs apart so that I was straddling him.
I broke the kiss and sat up, my hands on his chest. He looked up at me and took me in. I’d never felt more desirable. He cupped my breasts and played with them, pinching my nipples, making me squirm on top of him.
And then he reached for protection and rolled it onto his cock. I came up on my knees and he manoeuvred me so that I was poised over him, ready to take him. I sat back down, slowly, taking him in, inch by glorious inch.
I was still tender from before, but it only made me more sensitive. I moved slowly, relishing the sensation of Brodieinside me. I could see the effort it was taking for him to allow me to set the pace. Sweat sheened his forehead.
His hands were on my hips, holding me. I bent down over him and kissed him again. He slipped out of me and groaned softly, before entering me again. I gasped against his mouth. This time, he dictated the movements and he held me fast as he pumped up and into me, again and again.
He brought me close to orgasm and then pulled it back, keeping me on an edge until I brokenly begged him, ‘Please, Brodie.’
He changed the pace and it became frantic as we both strained to chase the pinnacle. In my head I was thinking,surely it can’t be as good again, surely this time I won’t come and he will and I’ll just pretend and...No need to pretend. The climax hit me with physical force, cracking me apart and pushing me over the edge and into a rolling sea of ecstasy.
Brodie held my hips as he found his own completion. I wondered if I’d have marks. I didn’t mind. I liked the idea of being marked by him.
I was barely aware of him disentangling us and of him carrying me into the bathroom. He pulled my hair up and secured it, and then we were under steaming water, and he was washing me and then towelling me dry.
We got back onto the bed and I didn’t have the strength to wonder if I should move away into my own space. Brodie was pulling me back into him and his arms were around me. All of the questions buzzing in my head about what was happening and what did it all mean and just...what the hell?faded into oblivion as I slipped into an abyss of peace.
Chapter 30
Jess
Isaw Brodie standing by one of the tables talking to a couple of women. He was wearing long shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. He was so handsome it hurt and I still couldn’t believe that we’d pretty much had rampant sex all night. The kind of sex that had rewired me for ever.
I’d woken late and had been completely disorientated until I’d found a note on the side table.Morning, I don’t want to wake you, I’ve left some breakfast things for you, come down whenever you’re ready.
For all I knew he could have looked at me this morning and wondered what the hell he’d been thinking. I felt a little insecure to know he’d been up and I’d been in such a pleasure-induced coma I hadn’t noticed.
I’d washed and changed into a white summer dress – one of Tasha’s designs – with wide straps and buttons down the front. A belt. There was a quirky design of big, bold colourful flowers splashed across the fabric.
Brodie must have sensed me staring at him like a groupie because he looked my way and instantly my insides swooped and dived.Oh, crap.
He smiled and beckoned me over, and when I got close he held out a hand. I took it and he pulled me into him, giving me a slightly wary look. I felt wary too. As if a layer of skin had been removed. Would he be pulling me close like this if he didn’t have to?
The two women he’d been talking to melted away, but I didn’t miss the look one of them gave me – pure envy. But I didn’t feel any sense of feminine satisfaction. Brodie had only pulled me close to keep up the façade. Yes, we’d had sex until dawn had risen, but it didn’t mean anything. It was just sex. And this was just pretend.
I felt like running after her and explaining that we weren’t really together. That I didn’t want us to be together, because that way would lead to certain pain.
The kind of pain I’d been avoiding for years. And, what was worse, I had a feeling that the pain I had experienced had just been injured pride, because that guy in university had never made me feel like I was a sex goddess and on a permanent emotional rollercoaster. The ground was suddenly uneven.
