‘Thanks for bringing my sandals back.’ I’d noticed them at the end of the bed when I’d got up. Reminding me of what had led to leaving them behind in that gazebo. Like Cinderella.Not.
‘You’re welcome. Glad I could rescue them before the foxes got them.’
‘Yeah, Tash would not have been impressed.’ And then, ‘I’m sorry I missed the scavenger hunt. You should have woken me.’
‘Don’t worry about it – it wasn’t that exciting. I didn’t even have to hide behind a bush this year.’ I coughed to hide a laugh at that.
He said, ‘Looks like she’s found someone new to fixate on.’
I followed his gaze and looked across the crowd of his colleagues to see Cecily with her hand on the arm of a man who was looking at her and then around him as if slightly terrified.‘Should we save him?’ I asked. But as we watched, Brodie’s boss went up to them and caught his wife’s arm, pulling her away. He looked visibly irritated. I said, ‘Maybe she was just looking for a way to get her husband’s attention.’
Brodie shuddered palpably beside me. ‘See? Chaos and drama. No thanks.’
‘Not all relationships are like that.’ I hated that I felt the need to counter his cynicism.
‘Perhaps not, but I have no intention of finding out.’
‘So you’re just going to be alone, for ever?’
‘That’s preferable to what I witnessed, believe me.’
Why did I feel the need to counter Brodie’s entrenched mistrust of love? Since when had I become love’s great defender? I clamped my mouth shut.
When Brodie said, ‘Let’s eat some lunch and then we can get on the road,’ I just nodded, suddenly eager to get back to the city where things might feel a bit more normal again.
Chapter 31
Brodie
The journey back to London was mostly in silence, as if they were both absorbing what had happened. Brodie turned into Jess’s street before he’d even realised where they were and he felt a sudden lurch of panic at the thought of just driving away and then...nothing. Over.
But then he recalled looking at Jess sleeping earlier and how he’d held back from waking her to come on the scavenger hunt because he’d actually been worried that he would want to fuck her out in the open, like someone crazed.
The full impact of how much he’d shared with her had hit him anew. And an awful sense of vulnerability had clawed at him. He’d spilled his guts to her.
She’d also made him think about the the work he’d taken for granted for so long. Her integrity and work in an area that did real good for people had served to highlight his own niggling sense of dissatisfaction. Of inauthenticity. As if she’d shone a light where he knew there were issues but he’d been ignoring the growing need to confront them.
He pulled to a stop. Kids were playing in the street. Men chatting on a step. Music was coming from an open window.
Jess put her hand on the door handle. ‘Thanks for the lift.’
‘Wait.’
She stopped. Looked at him. Brodie felt like he stood before a fork in the road. One way would lead to keeping Jess in his life, to burn this out. But with that came the risk of exposure. The sense of vulnerability was too raw. She wasn’t just affecting his libido, she was straying perilously close to where he’d never allowed anyone else to cross a line.
The other way was what he knew best. It would keep him intact. No exposure. No vulnerability. No lines being crossed.
Jess’s eyes were wide and clear. Green. He made his decision before he drowned in them. ‘Look, I just wanted to say thanks... For being a good sport.’ Even as he said that, he felt like cringing. It didn’t come close to what she had been. Which had been amazing. And surprising. And way too disarming. And sexy.
Something in her expression closed off and she said coolly, ‘You really don’t have to thank me – we had a deal, remember? And we both knew that this was just a bit of fun.’
Even though she was saying exactly what he wanted to hear, Brodie had to battle the urge to tell her thatfunwas a vast understatement for the intensity they’d shared. But that intensity was the very reason he had to say now, ‘OK, good. I’ll see you around, Jess.’
‘Yeah, see you around, Brodie.’
But her tone told him that she really hoped she wouldn’t see him around. When he drove off, after bringing her bag up the steps to her front door, his hands gripped the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. He was doing the right thing. This was never meant to be anything.
Chapter 32
