Chapter Two
Iwokeup to a beautiful Saturday morning. I cried, remembering how happy I had been yesterday morning. Then I reminded myself— Greg wants to have a baby and not wait the full five years. This one wasn’t meant to be. Now we can plan for the next one, and everything will turn out as it should be. I didn’t know how much I wanted a baby until I lost one.
The thought sent me crying all over again, but I decided to ignore the tears. They’d come, but I wouldn’t try to stop them that day. The cramps were gone, I felt physically great, and I had the urge to exercise, something I hadn’t done since returning to work. I would start slow by power walking around the neighborhood.
I changed into my workout clothes and took a brisk walk around the lake behind the house. Several moms were out with their kids and their strollers, pushing them as they tried to do some semblance of a jog. I tried to ignore them. When I reached the back of Harvey and Natalie’s house, I paused. The lawn mower roared in the back. I hesitated, reaching the gate, going back to the path by the lake, and then turning back again to the gate. At that moment the lawnmower stopped, and I knocked. Harvey opened.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey, how are you?” he asked, and I could tell he was genuinely worried about me.
“OK, now. Well, getting there, I guess. Is Natalie home?”
“No, at work. Greg?”
“At work,” I said. He made that same “hmph” noise from the hospital and walked into his backyard, pushing his mower into the shed.
“Harvey, I don’t get it. Why would you suspect them of cheating? And together? I’m not proud of this, but I went through Greg’s phone last night, and there’s nothing at all incriminating in there. The texts between them are all about work stuff.” I put my hands on my hips, waiting to hear more gibberish from him.
“I’ve also gone through Natalie’s phone, and her Facebook, and her pockets— and nothing. But I’ve got this feeling, Audrey,” he said, running his hands through his hair. He was wearing basketball shorts and no shirt. He’s an attractive guy and Natalie knew that, so why would he worry?
“A feeling? All of this because of a feeling? There has to be something else.”
“I’ll tell you. A few months ago I was going to the gym a lot. I made a friend— this girl named Ava. So Ava and I started going to the gym at the same time and having lunch afterward sometimes. I kept it from Nat at the beginning because I didn’t want her to worry about something that was only a friendship. But then she found out by snooping on my phone. I swear nothing ever happened between us. It wouldn’t have anyway, since I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian. I told Natalie this, but she didn’t believe me. After that I noticed Nat herself started going to the gym, working out, and she dyed her hair, remember? She started working late. More and more often.”
“She didn’t tell me any of this.”
“Maybe she was embarrassed. Who knows? Anyways, the sex was off the table between us for a while because she was upset I hid this friendship with Ava. Understandably. I know I should have told her about the friendship, and I get it. I apologized many times, and I was sure she had forgiven me. We even had sex again, but suddenly it stopped. She hasn’t let me touch her in over two months, always saying something about being tired from work. I try to talk to her, but she insists she’s tired and that I have to give her some space for now because she’s stressed.”
“Well, I can see how two months is a long time, but that doesn’t mean she’s cheating on you. She has a very stressful job, and I know when I’m anxious about something, the last thing I want is to have sex.”
“I get it, but it still made me suspicious. So like I told you, I searched her stuff, but nothing. Natalie is a smart woman. If she were to have an affair, she’d know how to cover it up, much better than I ever could. She’s smarter than me. So I have these suspicions, right? Nothing concrete, until about a week ago. Do you remember the barbecue at Jeanette and Marco’s house?”
“Yes, it was the six of us.” Jeanette and Marco also live along the lake and us three couples hang out and go to dinner together often. We had all planned for St. Thomas, actually, but Jeanette couldn’t take the time from work, and now it was the four of us going. One big happy family— if only Harvey could shake this silly idea from his head.
“So Marco and I are at the grill, you and Jeanette are by the bar figuring out the margarita situation, and I see your husband and my wife talking by the pool. Nothing wrong with them talking right? Except that moment when it all clicks. I see it in Greg’s eyes. He wants her. I’m a guy. I know when a guy wants a woman, and he had it. She was being her normal friendly self until he spilled his beer on his shirt. Natalie patted his shirt, just like she would to me. Would you pat my shirt if I spilled something on it?” He was almost demanding me to answer the question.
“I’m sure you’re blowing this out of proportion. Maybe Greg was drunk, and maybe he was admiring Natalie. She’s a gorgeous woman. Maybe they’ve become good friends, and she patted a shirt and that was it,” I said. He wasn’t giving me anything remotely incriminating.
“I’m not done. So I had my suspicions and watched them all night. I just had the feeling, like I said. Nothing else happened, but the other night there was the whole working late thing again. And you said Greg was working late too. Fast forward to the dinner. Again, I was looking for clues now that they were together in front of me. They both went to the bathroom at the same time, if you remember. That’s when you asked me what was up. So yes, I had my suspicions even then, but I wasn’t 100 percent, so I didn’t tell you. The last thing I wanted to do was throw you into the same disaster I was going through. Anyway, that night,” he paused and cleared his throat, “that night I tried to forget about it all, to pretend I hadn’t noticed a thing. I tried to get close to her when we got in bed. As I pulled her towards me, before she complained about being tired, I smelled men’s cologne. It was as if she had showered in it. I don’t wear cologne.” He stopped his story there, as if what he’d said was unmitigated proof.
“So you think they were, what? Like making out in the bathroom? They were gone like two minutes,” I tried to reason.
“I’m just telling you, she smelled of it.”
“Did she shower before dinner?”
“No, I met her at the restaurant,” he said.
“It could have been from before, anyone else’s cologne,” I almost whined. Why was he so insistent on ruining my marriage along with his?
“The last thing I wanted to do was upset you. I’m trying to get answers, and I thought I’d warn you, just in case. But for me, it’s all pretty much cut and dried here. I need proof, though, before I shove it in her face.” His words were angry, and I had the impression he was beyond hoping he was wrong. But I wasn’t.
“Well, let me know if you find something. But I don’t think it’s Greg. They wouldn’t do that to us,” I said.
“Natalie is definitely doing it to me,” he stated, his eyes all intense and shit. Shit, he better be wrong.
“I’m going now,” I said and walked back out to the lake. I tried to keep doing my power walk thing, but my brain wasn’t having it. My body slowed to a stroll, and I kept replaying all the words Harvey had said. It sounded so bizarre, but was it possible? Greg with Natalie. That was the first time I tried picturing them together in the flesh, him kissing her the way he kisses me all over, touching her breasts. The image was frightening and making me rather nauseous. Perhaps I was venturing out too soon.
