The next day I went to work as usual, did my job like always, and spoke to my co-workers in the same way. Tammy, however, wasn’t buying it. We had become close in the past six months, ever since the first day they sat me in the cubicle next to hers.
“So?” she asked after we had separated from the larger group of people and sat down at our desks.
“So what?” I tried to feign innocence.
“What do you mean, so what? You told me you were going to buy a pregnancy test yesterday, and you never came back!” she said in an accusatory tone.
I wanted to lie, I really did. Greg should have been the first to know, and then my parents, but that hadn’t worked out. And Tammy was right there, waiting to be excited with me. She would squeal. I let myself be happy and nodded enthusiastically.
“What?” She whispered loudly, “You’re pregnant?!” I nodded again.
“Oh my God!” she squealed in as hushed a voice as she could. I made a pitchy noise along with her, and we hugged. She congratulated me as I told her the story of the prior evening.
“Well, you have to tell him tonight,” she said, pushing her short, red hair behind her ears and raising an eyebrow. I twisted the ends of my own long brown hair in my hand nervously.
“I know. I think I will make a nice dinner when I get home.” We discussed how I was feeling (nauseous), when I would tell everyone else at work (not for awhile), and whether I wanted a boy or girl (which I hadn’t even considered, but now I kind of hoped for a baby girl). The rest of the day dragged on. I wanted it to be over with so I could get home and cook. I was thinking Cornish hens.
As I was driving home from work, Natalie called. I hit the answer button on my phone and listened to her over my car speakers.
“Get ready for a delicious dinner!” she said, without me having uttered a word.
“Huh?” I was confused.
“I already arranged it with Greg and Harvey. We’re going out to Le Mer’s tonight. I’m paying. It’s a huge thank you for Greg’s job well done yesterday and a celebration for all of us. Audrey, you don’t understand how much that move of his last night saved all of our asses. They were about to start laying off a few people, and, honestly, it’s because of Greg that everyone was still at work today.”
“Oh, that sounds like fun,” I lied, because what could I possibly say? What excuse could I give to get us out of dinner? Nat wanted to do this nice thing, and, surely, Greg deserved it. I would still be pregnant tomorrow, right?
“OK, remember, wear something fancy. This place is high class,” she laughed. We had always used the term “high class” in a mocking tone, but lately it seemed we were in the high class.
“Sounds good. What time?” I asked, mentally scrapping my dinner-cooking plans and figuring out my timeline for getting ready and perhaps painting my nails.
“Eight o’clock.”
“See you then,” I said as cheerfully as I could. Of course, I was dying to give her my news, but instead, I ended the call.
I considered telling Greg before we left (so we would have something else to celebrate), but he got to the house with no time to spare for him to even take a shower. He jumped in quickly anyway and sprayed himself with so much cologne afterward I had to step out of the bedroom to breathe.
Dinner was delicious, we all looked very “high class”, and Greg was happy. I was glad for that. Maybe he’d stop being so nitpicky and grouchy if things were now going better at work. I probably said little all night, being wrapped up in my own thoughts, but the other three seemed to enjoy themselves. When Greg and Natalie both happened to be gone from the table at the same time, I took the opportunity to talk to Harvey about the phone call.
“You see, Harvey, she was at work last night, just like she said. What made you think she would be anywhere else?” I asked, looking around to make sure she was not on her way back. Harvey did look a bit tense, and I would have thought he’d be relieved that his fears were unfounded.
“Yeah, she was at work. That was never really my concern. Um, listen, I’d rather not discuss this right now,” he said, and I saw that Greg was returning from the bathroom.
“OK,” I said, a little taken back. This was strange behavior for Harvey. He didn’t show it the rest of the evening, though, joking and laughing with all of us throughout dessert. I noticed a few times he would stare at each of us longer than I thought was normal. What was up with him?
Greg was rather tipsy by the time we finished with dinner, so I drove us home. Not drinking was not a problem for me. I never drank (on account of it triggering awful migraines) so no one even wondered about me refusing the wine. He hit the bed as soon as we walked in, and I shook my head.
“At least take off your shoes,” I said, grabbing his legs and taking his loafers off for him myself. He made some kind of groan, and then I heard nothing else.
I was putting his shoes in the closet when suddenly I was the most nauseous I’d been that whole week. Running to the bathroom, I spilled my entire high-class meal into the toilet. Yep, I was definitely pregnant.
Today is the day, I thought to myself the next morning as I turned off the alarm on my phone. It was Friday, and I would make a nice dinner and afterward we would Facetime our parents and tell them the good news. I was about to get up when I moved the covers, and then I saw it.
It was the most blood I had ever seen in real life and it was all over my pajama pants and bed sheets. I started shaking a bit and suddenly crying because I realized it meant I had miscarried. The saddest part was that I was all alone, and Greg didn’t even know I had been pregnant to begin with.
After I stopped freaking out, I very slowly got out of bed. The walk to the shower was painless yet emotionally draining, and I sat on the floor as I turned on the water, letting it soak right through my pajamas. After a couple of minutes of this, I stood and undressed, throwing the soggy, red-tinted mess to the corner. I washed as best I could but noticed there was still fresh blood. I got dressed, stuck a feminine pad in my underwear, and headed to the hospital. Obviously, I needed to be 100 percent sure, and I didn’t have a gynecologist in this town.
As I opened the front door to leave, the presence of another person gave me a shock.
